Bland On Bland – Air
Ian In England
The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method is “Air” (rather appropriate actually)
I am over in the UK at the moment and am phoning the poems in to the show.
No rest for the wicked eh?
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Air
this week i committed an unnatural act
twice in two days as a matter of fact
an offence against nature – perverse and profane
against my better judgement – i jumped on – a plane
pollution and greenhouse emissions aside
air is for breathing – not hitching a ride
do emus swim? do fish walk on land?
apart from axolotals sneaking cross the rio grande
flying is safe – if you believe the statistics
but it’s not about odds – more about physics
defying logic, gravity and weather
400 tonnes – not exactly a feather
irrational, groundless and absurd it may be
but i like more than air between terra firma and me
to some it’s a weakness, a failing, pathetic
but i’d rather have my teeth pulled without anaesthetic
i’d gladly row solo across bass straight
or swim among sharks with my jocks filled with bait
descend arthur’s seat without any brakes
or lie in a bath filled with venomous snakes
irrational maybe but i just don’t like flying
it’s not as though i’ve given in without trying
graded exposure and relaxation
cognitive, behavioural and meditation
crystals, hypnosis, aroma therapy
anti- depressants and rescue remedy
indulgence in alcohol, no doubt unwise
but so to is jet setting round in the skies
i’ve tried every approach but the best one i’ve found
is simply to keep my feet on the ground
when you hear this, i’ll have landed, so i guess i’m alright
unless of course we crashed or they cancelled the flight
so that’s a relief – but a point of concern
now i have to worry about the return
friends take the piss, but me? i don’t care
give me the earth and let the birds have the air
© Copyright 2009 Ian Bland
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