Bland On Bland – Mathematical Equations
Photo By Jools Thatcher
The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Mathematical Equations”
Jon takes a week off and look what he comes up with. Mathematical Equations is stretching it a bit.
Dave Evans (who rides a bicycle ) is on the box in his seat this week.
Ed Bates “car broke down” – yeah right.
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Drifter – The Album
Mathematical Equations
From our moment of birth till departing this earth
We quantify characteristics
Measured and weighed, assessed and assayed
Less flesh and blood than statistics
Worry and cram from test to exam
Potential reduced to a score
Talent encumbered, analysed, numbered
Possession’s 9 tenths of the law
Weight versus height, stupid or bright
Pressure on kids so intense
A lofty IQ, has nothing to do
With integrity, kindness and sense
Now all daily rigours are based upon figures
I find it wears a bit thin
Down at the bank, my name draws a blank
But they swoon at the sound my PIN
My doctor’s the same, though he calls me by name
It’s procedural rather than matey
I know in his mind, I’m forever defined
As 139 over 80
Life insurance, a punt on endurance
Complex equations apply
The longer you live, the more money you give
Only one way to win – and that’s die!
While the chances of winning the lottery’s thinning
Over 2.3 million to one
A similar mark to being nipped by a shark
At least one bite and you’re done
On average, men’s lives fall short of their wives
Fleeced years of quality time
Women accrue, 84.2
While blokes drop at 79
To better the odds and outsmart the gods
I plan to alter my fate
Claw back the years with a snip of the shears
Have a sex change at 78
The world gets hysterical at all things numerical
Taxation, migration, inflation
Graphs and schematics, applied mathematics
The world is one big equation
Life, I confirm = egg over sperm
Times around 500 million
Multiply these by just the Chinese
We’re pushing close to a trillion
Take that figure, less, diseases and stress
Over greed to the power of beer
Divide it by war, disasters, the poor
It’s a miracle anyone’s here
Discard the dregs, divide by the legs
Then again by your DNA
Allow for vaccines, take off your genes
That’s genes, with a G not a J
Deduct cigarettes, sloth and regrets
And anything you can’t control
Add vegies and fruit and the odd square root
Plus a bonus for humour and soul
Tally it up, pour it all in a cup
Drink it, smoke it, or take it
Forget times and division, it’s still your decision
Life, in the end’s what you make it
© Copyright 2010 Ian Bland
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