Bland's Bits

Bland On Bland – Survival

posted by Ian Bland on October 9, 2011

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Survival “.

Good choicefor a theme this week – Jon slipped up and gave me a topic that was several consonants  above the monosyllabic choices of the last few weeks.  Although since we got back survival has been the name of the game. That’s the trouble with holidays, you need another one a week after you get back. Not to worry “I will survive”.

No audio at the moment – the recorder didn’t survive. I will try and fix that in a week or so

Also have a listen to the tracks on the new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World”

Survival

Survival

For starters, I survived pregnancy
My mother’s to put it more accurately

The full nine months, the ensuing birth
My first few weeks upon this earth

No responsibilities or cares
Till I tumbled head first down the stairs

That woke me up, I learnt to crawl
Then an uncle mistook me for a ball

For the first time since my arrival
I twigged that life was about survival

I survived kinder and primary school
An accident in a swimming pool

The Neville’s budgie, The Beetson’s dogs
Noddy, Big Ears, Golliwogs

Humpty Dumpty and Old King Cole
Elvis Presley and Rock’n’Roll

The Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix
Tonsillitis, a Burst appendix

Puberty, but only just
Deidre Cruikshank’s 48 bust

Most of my secondary education
Scouts, acne, masturbation

I survived

The Cheltenham Sharps, the Toorak Spiffs
The paedophiles round Red Bluff Cliffs

Countless stupidities in a car
Asbestos, well, at least so far

Blackberry Nip and Ginger Wine
The last train on the Frankston line

One, or was it two Sunbury’s?
A really bad haircut, colonoscopies

Red, skin tight, tartan pants
Naively worn to a skinhead dance

The Hume Highway, the Birdsville Track
A real live monkey on my back

I survived

Ingrown toenails and Colitis
Non-Specific Urethritis

Falling from the Mansfield’s tree
Hashish, speed and LSD

The occasional social indiscretion
Anxiety attacks and depression

Sedatives and therapy
Meditation, ECT

Two hundred thousand cigarettes
A million gaffes and as many regrets

I survived

A live wire pumping 240 volts
Shock jocks, pumping Andrew Bolts

Repressions and insurrections
Religious intolerance in both directions

Political scammers of all persuasions
The end of the world on several occasions

I survived

A day in Pentridge, a night in Crown
A house warming where the house burned down

Public Transport, Four Wheel Drives
The pain in other people’s lives

I survived being

Punched, kicked, slapped and pinned
Robbed, cheated, Mickey Finned

Cuts, sprains, a broken heart
Various other body parts

Getting thrown off a horse in Upper Plenty
Thrown off a bike at a hundred and twenty

Detentions, expulsion, the cane, the strap
Or worse, Justin Bieber and Gangsta Rap

Bird flu and SARS Virus
Billy Ray and Mylie Cyrus

Several questionable lifestyle choices
Someone else’s imaginary voices

Bogart Jeans and platform shoes
John Howard, the evening news

Political correctness, and Non PC
SMS and JVG
I survived Ed – or did Ed survive me?

The right of dissent and the freedom to speak
We’ve all survived – for another week

© Copyright 2011 Ian Bland