Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Make Contact” ( or “Give 3RRR lots of money”)

It’s time for 3RRR’s annual radiothon, a cause well worth supporting.

Ed Bates supplied the “atmospheric background” both weeks

Play the poems directly in your browser! Just click on the “play” button below:
Week 1 [audio:JVG_Poem20100815.mp3]

Week 2 [audio:JVG_Poem20100822.mp3]

Listen to the my album “Drifter”


3RRR Radiothon 2010 “Make Contact” (Part 1)

“Have you ever wondered what’s out there?”
“I can’t believe we’re alone”
“The only life in the universe?”
“Adrift in the twilight zone?”

“Shut up “Rabbit.” You’re talking crap”
“Pig” Mills thought the chances were slim
In “Pig’s” world the sun circled the earth
And the earth revolved around him

Who cared about other intelligence?
Who cared they were lost in space?
“Pig” Mills had more pressing issues
Like thirst and feeding his face

Unless these life forms were edible
In which case they had some appeal
Blast off was only five minutes ago
“Pig” was down to his last ‘Wagon Wheel’

A comet’s tail according to “Pig”
Tastes like a sherbet bomb
“Pig” was as batty as Ziggy Stardust
“Rabbit” as Major Tom

Darkness and silence were taking their toll
Both astronauts seemed ill at ease
“Imagine” gasped “Pig” “If “Spanner” had lied”
“And the moon isn’t made out of cheese”

Confronted by fear, neither boy spoke
As they hurtled forlorn through the void
Then something big slammed into their ship
A meteor or asteroid?

An unworldly hiss, a discharge of air
Would this end with them suffocating
Mercifully, no – a false alarm
It was just “Pig” regurgitating

Isolation can drive you insane
Regardless of strength or willpower
Our valiant explorers teetered on the edge
They’d been in orbit nearly quarter of an hour

“Rabbit” was curled in a foetal position
“We’ll be smashed into cosmic dust”
While “Pig” crawled round under the seat
Searching in vain for a crust

“Someone should have made contact by now”
Wailed “Rabbit” his voice full of dread
He tried to raise someone on the radio
To no avail – It was dead

“Hello! Come in! Won’t somebody answer?
It’s dark in here – Talk to me!
For God’s sake is anybody out there?
I’m a little tea pot short and stout
This is my handle, this is my spout
Collingwood will win the flag
Collingwood will win the – Collingwood?
I must be going completely insane!!!!!
Hello! Hello! Hello!

3RRR Radiothon 2010 “Make Contact” (Part 2)

We left “Pig” Mills and “Rabbit” McGorry
Floating in outer space
Radio down, food exhausted
Lost without a trace

Fifteen minutes since blast off
The last five with nothing to eat
“Pig” was so hungry he’d eaten his belt
And the trim from the leather seat

No power, they drifted in total darkness
Sensory depravation
“I can’t last much longer” “Pig” bemoaned
“One ‘Mintie’ between me and starvation”

Then a blinding light engulfed the ship
“Pig” squealed “This must be heaven”
Two alien forms stepped from the light
Through the door of the — Austin Seven?

It was “Spanner” Chaplee and Lindy Dent
The space flight was all a charade
Their ship, a car wreck, the windows blacked out
On blocks in the Chaplee’s backyard

“Good one ‘Flash” Gordon” “Squirrel” Tyrell harrumphed
“You couldn’t pilot an elevator”
“Can’t even last a quarter on an hour”
“In “Spanner’s” simulator”

Most kids want to journey to space
And all of us share in that dream
While astronauts are the public face
They’re just one small part of the team

Nearly eighty programs every week
We need your help to stay in the air
The cosmos is a harsh environment
A lot of strange things out there

Space junk, dead stars, endless black holes
And toxic radiation
Too many planets that can’t support life
Spinning in high rotation

Space belongs to everyone
Not just a few celestials
It’s Community and Humanity
Except Sundays when its extra-terrestrials

We know you’re out there somewhere
We rely on subscribers like you
“Make Contact” – Join us on board
You’re needed as part of the crew

© Copyright 2010 Ian Bland

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