In what I can only imagine is a fit of pique on Jon’s part, for the sterling job Dan and I did running Jon Van Goes’ JVG Radio Method on 3RRR last week ,the theme he picked for this week was “ABOUT”.

Well, you can just imagine the Abbot and Costelloesque phone call we had.
Me.. “What’s the theme about this week?”
Jon.. “Yep that’s the theme”
Me .. Whats the theme?”
Jon… “About”
Me … “Yes about what?” and so on and so forth.

Click to hear today’s poem… [audio:JVG_Poem20080330.mp3]

Ed is playing the the guitar in the background this week.


Have you ever wondered what it’s all about? You know, why in the hell are we here?
Are we the result of “Intelligent Design” or did we spontaneously appear?
Were we brought here to earth by aliens, from a planet light years from our sun?
To strip the place bare like soldier ants, in which case our job’s almost done

“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” after careful deliberation
Claimed the meaning of life is 42, but does that take into account inflation?
Others suggest the world’s just a dream, meaning everything, us included, is fake
If that’s true the bastard’s have weird imaginations and what happens to us when they wake?

Nihilists contend that life has no purpose, they’re purveyors of doom and gloom
Especially for the 900 chickens, on average each person consumes
It’s all right for the existentialists; they won’t be losing much sleep
Try telling that to the 35 turkeys, 14 cows, 2 calves and 12 sheep

When it comes to religions, you can take your pick, there’s countless both ancient and new
Unless you’re an active homosexual, then you’re limited to the odd one or two
Some haven’t changed for thousands of years, some adopt more contemporary ways
Murderers, terrorists, Liberal Party members, all welcome, but no practicing gays

From your multi national mega religions, who dominate market share
To your regional boutique deities, they’re popping up everywhere
There’s branches all over the planet, to confess, repent and give thanks
There’s the occasional amalgamation, cutting costs just like the banks

Revenge or forgiveness, intolerance or love, bliss or eternal damnation
There’s a text to justify any agenda, or spin your own interpretation
You can speak in tongues, hold exorcisms, no one’s worried if you say you hear voices
Though these days burning your wife as a witch is considered as suss as Work Choices

Worship en mass, meditate alone, fast till you’re close to starvation
Even S & M for those so inclined, indulge in some self flagellation
If none really suit, do a Henry the 8th; start your own by means of succession
Live off donations, eternal life’s thrown in and very attractive Tax concessions

Grow a beard, shave your head, wear a little cap instead, or bury your body in cloaks
Live celibate lives or take dozens of wives, most gods look after the blokes
Off course it’s generally accepted God’s a bloke too, how do they know that you ask?
So many planets and only one supports life —- he obviously can’t multi task

There are those who advocate meditation, claim the meaning of life is within us
In that case the meaning’s a chicken parmagiana and nine or ten pints of Guinness

What happens when we depart this world depends on whom you believe
While it’s true none of us asked to be born, hey, I’m in no hurry to leave
Some live in hope, some live in fear, the rest, well they don’t give stuff
What’s it all about? Sit back and relax — we’ll all find out soon enough

© Copyright 2008 Ian Bland

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