Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Accident / Collision“.

Once again the larger world provides the allegorical inspiration for this weeks poem.

JVG and  I discussed car accidents I had been in and the virtues of retractable seatbelts.

We also touched on NAIDOC week and the American election, all rather business as usual I guess.


Ed Bates provided the music backing, samples and effects (it’s a ripper this week). Thatch provided the audio production, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Accident / Collision

There’s a pile up on the highway; a grim, chaotic mess
A scene of utter carnage according to the press

Traffic at a standstill, jamming intersections
Reports suggesting all lanes are blocked in both directions

A tanker full of toxic waste it seems ignored a light
Demanding everybody else give way to the right

The driver blames others for causing the collision
It was their fault he contends for interfering with his vision

He claims they’re all illegal’s, though he has no proof at all
Says it never would have happened if they’d let him build a wall

He insists they all be breathalysed and immediately arrested
Though he, on the other hand, is refusing to be tested

Despite the mangled wreckage, denies anyone was hit
Wants their regos checked to make sure they’re all legit

Reckons a woman driver caused the crash by cutting in
He said “I normally wouldn’t mind – providing she was thin

I have great respect for women, no bigger supporter than me
Except the fat, ugly, mouthy ones, which all of them seem to be”

When informed on the number of casualties he didn’t hesitate
“That’s a very, very good result and proves my driving’s great

You can’t believe the numbers; they’re fake, corrupt, a lie
Stop the ambos checking pulses and numbers won’t be as high

Only pussies wear a seat belt, not Alpha males like me
So a few hundred thousand die – at least they’re dying free

He’s finally lost his licence, which he’s choosing to ignore
Along with many other things like the people, the truth and the law

Once they pry his hands off the wheel, he’ll have more time to tweet
He’s more at home on a golf cart; a game where it’s easy to cheat

© Copyright 2020 Ian Bland


Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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