Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Animal Noises“.

There really isn’t a lot you can say about this one. A great show. I have no idea where Jon got the theme from but he is about to have a few week’s “rest”.

That cant be a bad thing, can it?


Ed Bates provided the guitar backing, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Animal Noises

Animals communicate
To hunt, warn, defend and mate

Comfort, teach, mourn and play
Everything they need to say

Humans may have far more words
Yet lack the clarity of birds

Owls hoot, hippos growl
Deers’ bell, jackals howl

Doves coo, cows moo
Turkeys gobble, politicians too

Cocks will crow, crows will caw
Monkeys gibber, lions roar

Bulls snort, a whale sings
Pigeons chat by flapping wings

Hyena laughs, but not giraffes
At night they hum, while insects thrum

Cicadas chirp, chameleons slurp
Most mammals fart and fish can burp

A beetle drones, a walrus groans
Without the use of mobile phones

Piggies grunt as do koalas
Ditto from those cute impalas

Shrimp, a snap that paralyses
A lyrebird plagiarises

Donkeys bray, wolves bay
Penguins honk, horses neigh

Some snakes hiss, others rattle
Camels grumph while poets prattle

A chicken clucks, quack for ducks
Flies buzz and a mozzie sucks

Rabbits, mice and tapirs squeak
Cockatoos and curlews shriek

Elephants prefer to trumpet
When pissed off or chasing crumpet

Some foxes scream, others simper
Most dogs bark while puppies whimper

Dolphins click, parrots squawk
Not only human beings can talk

We have more words than say, a tit
That’s because we talk more shit

Listen, shhhh – hear that bleating
What breed is that? Oh, it’s just Trump tweeting

© Copyright 2018 Ian Bland


Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.