The theme Jon chose for the
JVG Radio Method today was “AUSTRALIAN CITIES”. Nice to see he’s making it easy for me…

Click to play today’s piece … [audio:JVG_Poem20070902.mp3]

Today I had the pleasure of two accompanists, Dan Warner and Ed Bates, Jon and I discussed experimental music, bicycle pumps and fun times at the Collingwood Town Hall.

I think this one turned out rather well.

Australian Cities

I find it really bloody insulting, when I hear some pessimist say
Australian cities can’t equal the likes of Rome, Beijing and LA .
so we can’t match the smog, or impenetrable fog, and our rivers aren’t quite as polluted
I tell them with pride, how hard we’ve tried and one day we’ll be just as rooted

like a festering tropical ulcer, Brisbane, the north’s centrefold
wedged like a necklace on Pamela’s chest, between the coasts, sunshine and gold
just south of Brizzy, both tacky and tizzy, the Gold Coast’s taken off like a rocket
pillaged and bereft, the only gold left, lines the developers pockets

there’s no other city like Sydney, for some – for others it’s a little too intense
so exclusive is the harbour and opera house, they’ve stuck up a 5 kilometre fence
so George and Johnny, Shinzo and Vlad can relax, martini in hand
no wonder real estate’s so expensive, there’s more fucking water than land

half way cross the earth, the city of Perth a modern day fairytale
more tycoons and magnates than the rest of the states, pity so many wound up in jail
the threat of succession has become an obsession, for this city of miners and farmers
maybe it’s best, they’re so far west, they’re almost afrikaners

Australia’s capital Canberra, home to our political bosses
it’s origin I’ve heard, an aboriginal word, translated means “home of the tossers”
more out of pity, we built them a city, to keep the pricks out of our way
planned the place out, one big roundabout, so they can go round in circles all day

apart from the wine, fruit of the vine, Adelaide’s always been on the nose
haven for deviants and psychopaths, not including the Adelaide Crows
transports a sham, one solitary tram and two of the country’s worst beers
they’re a half hour behind, but some are inclined, to suggest it feels more like twenty years

the beautiful city of Hobart, really not much more than a town
wherever you are in the country, to find it you just keep going down
it’s a great place to bring up a family, and when you want to start one of your own
whether it’s dating, marriage or mating, hell you don’t even have to leave home

Darwin was named after Charles, the father of evolution
seems quite a shame, the city bearing his name, has made absolutely no contribution
nor any sign of intelligent design, not the faintest connection
but every drunk cock, who swims too close to a crock, proves his theory of natural selection

Melbourne is the centre of culture, I can only speculate what that means
knocking down pubs, building flats and men’s clubs, graffiti and pokie machines
the city’s split in two by the Yarra, and the litter encrusting it’s shores
Brisbane’s got sea world, Sydney’s got ocean world, but Melbourne’s got underworld wars

so we can’t match the traffic of Bangkok, and we can’t match Chicago for crime
or Tehran’s persecution of women, but we’re young, all we need’s time
be proud of the big pineapple in Queensland, in Bondi be proud of the turds
proudly sing our national anthem, if anyone can remember the words

© Copyright 2007 Ian Bland

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