Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Bugs “.

Apologies in advance to all entomophobes out there. Jon picked the theme so take up any correspondence with him.

It turned out to be a good one this week, I tried something poetically a bit tricky and I thing it worked. Jon and I had a good chat, all in all one of the nicer Sundays ( unless you don’t like bugs )

Once again I had the pleasure of Ed “birthday boy” Bates playing the guitar in the background.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to the tracks on the new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World


In bed last night, I heard a noise
Deep inside the walls
A scratching sound, like cellophane
Scrunched up into balls

I naively thought the house was mine
How’s that for bourgeoisie
That house is home to millions
And some are eying me!

Cockroaches, squatting, under the fridge
God knows how long they’ve been hiding
My wardrobes a high rise apartment
All manner of beasties residing

Moths chew holes in my trousers
Shirts, even my socks
While Silverfish, clearly, low self esteem
Get off on devouring my jocks

Spiders rule in the ceiling
Below floor, the termites control
While weevils make love in the muesli
I caught them – after eating a bowl

Outside, my vegies, grow up in fear
Cabbage, broccoli, beet
To bugs, it looks like Las Vegas
“Self serve, all you can eat”

Bugs without names
But billions of legs
Hermaphrodite bugs
That lay thousands of eggs

Midges and mossies
Thrips, fleas and flies
Slaters, cicadas
Worms with no eyes

Concealed behind curtains
In the toilet and shrubs
Millipedes, mantis
Witchetty grubs

Creepy crawlies
Sent to ruin your life
When your house mates are house mites
You know you’re in strife

Ladybirds, Woodlice
Hornets and ants
Pill Bugs and cockchafers
Zip up your pants

Earwigs, centipedes
Pincers and choppers
Aphids and borer
Leafrollers, Treehoppers

Some look like pebbles
Others like sticks
In the air, below ground
Inside trees, beneath bricks

Under my nails
Bugs on my towel
Billions crawl round
In the depths of my bowel

As I talk bugs are breeding
In my throat and my nose
Bugs on my skin
Between all my toes

Decaying my teeth
On the seat of my scooter
A bug, so I’m told
Crashed my computer

One day I’ll die
Then nothing can hurt me
My friends will lose interest
But bugs won’t desert me

They’ll bore in and mate
I’d be their home
Even in death
You’re never alone

They’ll like what’s inside me
Understand how I feel
Though deep down I know
I’m only a meal

Bugs rule the world
They’re here to stay
Like it or lump it
You’re buggered each way

© Copyright 2012 Ian Bland

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