Bland On Bland – The Book

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Carbonated Beverages“.

Great show today, Sarah Carroll was in co hosting the show with JVG. Always look forward to Sarah visiting and her singing on to Warner Corner was a ripper

I went with a Noel Coward inspired piece today, the topic seemed to call for it. 

Ed Bates captured the “Cowardesque” feel rather well I thought, have a listen and see what you think.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Carbonated Beverages

We love to carbonate our water
From lemonade to porter
Enhancing the most timorous libation

Though it may be an illusion
A gaseous infusion
Makes every sip a cause for celebration

From Carlton to Cadiz
We all enjoy the fizz
Soft or hard appears the only question

Ginger Ale or Cider?
Kombucha or Lime Spider?
Who cares about a little indigestion?

There’s nothing like some bubbles
To wash away your troubles
Perfect for every situation

At parties when we mingle
We can’t resist the tingle
A spritzer acts as social lubrication

Most enjoy a beer
A tad too much I fear
But what the hell if it helps to keep us sane

Without the effervescence
We’d lose our incandescence
Tell me, what’s life without champagne?

When my life draws to a close
As I lie in sweet repose
When I meet my sparkling waterloo

Could you play some Acca Dacca?
Shove a hose right up my clacker
Gently pump me full of CO2

No need to call a priest
Just stuff what’s left with yeast
Let everybody know I died contented

Say I went out with a pop
That I made a lovely drop
Tell anyone who asks I self fermented

© Copyright 2017 Ian Bland


Also have a listen to the songs on my new album “Everything or Nothing

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