Bland On Bland – …City…


The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “…City…“.

Ok JVG is definitely thinking outside the box these days (or alternatively he finally has lost his mind)

The theme this week had to contain the alias of city name that contains the word “city” ( I am not making this up), so for example New York is known as “The City Of Dreams”, Detroit is known as “Motor City, Sydney has been known as “Sin City” and you get the idea.

Surprised at how many options sprang to mind but in the end decided to stick with our hometown…

Ed Bates, once again playing a wonderful backdrop of sound.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


Melbourne is referred to as ‘The City By The Bay’
Whoever thought up that dross should be sacked
It tells nothing of its culture, of its soul, in any way
It simply states a geographic fact

The multi-cultural lifestyle, music, cafes, sport
No mention of anything of worth
“City By The Bay” tells you next to nought
And describes half the cities on the earth

‘World’s Most Liveable City’ I find a touch surprising
That old chestnut’s leaking like a sieve
You need a mortgage for a coffee, and housing, ever rising
It’s ‘liveable’, you just can’t afford to live

‘It’s time’, as Gough would say, our city was renamed
Something punchy, full of life – and something shorter
I find it rather sad to think the best that can be claimed
Is this city sits vaguely near the water

It’s time these puerile slogans were treated to the axe
It’s time the people finally had their say
It’s time to claim it back from the advertising hacks
And what better time, as we head to ‘Barby Day’

Forget the turkey basters with their marketing degrees
We need substance, something honest, simple, gritty
And so from this day forth, both at home and overseas
Melbourne shall be known as ‘Barbeque City’

© Copyright 2016 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to the songs on the new album “Everything or Nothing

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