Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Civil Disobedience“.

In the finest tradition of “be careful what you wish for”, last week, I stupidly suggested this weeks theme. Now, most of you playing along at home would have assumed that if I was going to open my mouth that I would have had a Baldrickian “cunning plan” up my sleeve, a poem written, a masterpiece that fitted the topic so good that they would be nominating me for the Prime Minister’s Literary Awards.

Alas you would be wrong.

About 2 seconds after JVG said yes ( really who expected him to agree – he never does that) I realised that I was up that proverbial creek and by Wednesday I was having better luck coming up sick note excuse than an idea for a poem. And by Friday well let’s just agree that panic and a not to shabby bottle of red can make up for a lack of time.

Next week I will go back to protesting about the topic rather than being cause of it. So much simpler.


Ed Bates provided the music backing and sound effects. Thatch provided the audio production, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Civil Disobedience

Hang on, Ed, Ed, Ed
I haven’t said ‘When you’re ready Ed’ yet
No, no, Ed, can you please just a bit of shush for a minute?
Ed, please
Ed!
If you want to be civilly disobedient you need to wait you’re told to begin, got it?
Okay, when you’re ready Ed

Anarchistic Poet

Now remember Ed, no improvising, stick to the charts. Got it?

I’m an anarchistic poet, it’s just coincidence I rhyme
I aim to stretch the boundaries, as long as they’re in time
I won’t be intimidated; all you purists take a hike
I’ll do exactly what I want but I can change if you like

Ed, turn your phone off

I’m an anarchistic poet, I love writers who rebel
But don’t forget your syntax and be careful how you spell
You can stick Keats and Shelley and all those other fools
I love radicals providing that they’re following the rules

Ed, I said no tubular bells

The poetry police are controlled by academics
I love to take the piss and accost them with polemics
I rail against the system, even in pandemics
Looking down their nose, spewing boring prose

I’m an anarchistic poet, strictly avantgarde
All the poetry commandments I completely disregard
I’m spontaneous and edgy; leaving everything to chance
All I ask is the topic at least six months in advance

Okay, it’s time for a solo Ed but no ad-libbing!
No, no, no, none of those diminished what’s it thingies
Ed you’re ruining the chaos with that shambles
You have to do it your way don’t you Ed?

Lawlessness and bedlam; I’m looking to revolt
I like to step on toes, a literary assault
I try to stay impartial, just like Andrew Bolt
Unbiased, nothing less, like the Murdoch Press

I’m an anarchistic poet, no-one tells me what to do
We’re all in this together, do it my way, bugger you
I’m a linguistic militant, let the words run free
If you’d like to be an anarchist, shut up and follow me

Do exactly what I tell you and we’ll have anarchy
Was the last note in tune? It sounded good to me but if you want …..

Shut up will you Ed, shut up …..

Da dad a dfa da – the poem’s finished, you can stop now

How can I create anarchy if you won’t do what you’re told?

© Copyright 2020 Ian Bland


Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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