Bland On Bland – Cup

Photo By Jools Thatcher
Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Cup “.

Lisbon: Ola Juan
This week I’m in Lisbon, fantastic city, and bang in the middle of their festival season.

When the locals discover I’m Australian, they only want to talk about two things – “The Heart Of St Kilda Concert” coming up at The Palais Monday week, the 27th of June, raising much needed money for The St Kilda Mission – Jon, I’m sure you’ll give a run down on the line up during the news segment.

Secondly, the whole of Lisbon is abuzz with speculation about next weeks Community Cup and Jon Von Ablett’s shameful defection to the Rockdogs.

The smart money in Portugal is on the Megahertz and so is mine.

I urge all RRR listeners to get down to the game and really let you know what we think of such a cynical act – can’t kick, can’t mark and can’t sing – Jon, you should make a perfect Rockdog!

Adeus, durma bem, bastardo!

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to the tracks on the new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World


Banks are renowned for fleecing
Most telecom’s as well
But the airport leaves them all for dead
As a thieving, exploitive, cartel

A simple cup of tea, that’s all
Hard to stuff that up
A tea bag and hot water
In a flimsy paper cup

I don’t take milk or sugar
How much could they ask?
You’re kidding me, SIX DOLLARS!
You crooks should wear a mask

I told them they’re no different
Than a bandit with a gun
Analogies to firearms
Not the smartest thing I’ve done

Security arrived
As I screamed out “It’s a con”
Baffled by my accent
They thought I’d yelled out “bomb”

What happened next is hazy
My neck’s still in a brace
I can’t recall which I preferred
The stun gun or the mace

Still, everything’s been sorted out
Which comes as some relief
Just one more operation
To cut the tea bag from my teeth

The weather’s nice in Lisbon
As far as I can tell
A constant forty eight degrees
Down here in my cell

My Portuguese is improving
Which is just as well I’m told
Cause it’s all I’ll hear for the next five years
Even more, unless I’m paroled

A cup of cha three times a day
What’s more, provided free
The lengths you have to go to
For a bloody cup of tea

© Copyright 2011 Ian Bland

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