Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Deadlines “.

This is a theme I know all to well, and still I nearly missed the deadline. Had to dash to make the gig at the Lomond Hotel, still after 200 poems we haven’t done to bad.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Ed Bates supplying guitar backing this week  – always appreciated mate.

Also have a listen to the tracks on the new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World


I was forced out of bed at six thirty
For a dentist’s appointment at eight
Now i know why they call it a “waiting room”
The bastard arrived an hour late

The plumber I’d sorted for one came at four
But couldn’t get into the wall
Cause the builder who’d promised to be here by twelve
Wound up not coming at all

The power company tells me they value my business
They’ll get here, but when, they can’t say
Pushed a bit further they narrowed it down
To sometime between august and may

The council inspector can’t come for a month
Cause his office screwed up the dates
The same council that sent me a penalty notice
One day overdue with my rates

Twelve hours late with my tax return
The mongrels slapped on a fine
How come I’m obliged to meet deadlines
When no-one gives a bugger for mine

Clock on, clock off, timetables, schedules
Bills, department store sales
Applications, proposals, opening hours
We end up chasing our tails

Deadlines, most of them spurious
Dictatorial, petty, unsound
Whereas “deadline” used in it’s purest sense
Involves a parachute and the ground

I’ve been ordered to stop, JVG’s having kittens
I’ve gone overtime with this poem
He’s scared if the show goes beyond four o’clock
He’ll cop a mouthful from Owen

No deadline will hold me to ransom again
Compliant, browbeaten, meek
Now leave me alone, I’m under the pump
Got a poem to write by next week

© Copyright 2011 Ian Bland

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