July 15, 2007 | Ian Bland | 2 Comments Today’s theme for the JVG Radio Method today was “DOGS”. But as Jon has decided to follow in my footsteps and head off overseas for a few weeks, the show was ably ringmastered hosted by Sarah Carroll. Click to play today’s piece … [audio:JVG_Poem20070715.mp3] My Dad had this saying that he copped from somewhere… “A small amount of fleas are good for any dog. ‘Cause it stops them brooding on the fact that they is dogs” He would use this for every situation whether it applied or not. Today’s offering is probably the aural equivalent of one of those kitsch paintings of dogs playing poker. Thanks (as always) to Ed Bates for the guitar backing. (It’s good to be back) DOGS dave moll once wrote, “it’s a dogs life” a sentiment hard to dispute spend our lives tethered and dreaming of riding up front in the ute mastiffs, chihuahuas, mongrels and mutts crave the life the top dog enjoys prance around pissing on lamp posts an elite private club for the boys george w’s a rather slow pit bull howls at the moon and the stars runs round in circles pursuing his tail and chasing imaginary cars other dogs follow because of his size it’s hard to make out who’s leading he likes to dig holes, just like his old man they put that down to the breeding little johnny’s a cranky jack russell as shifty as the proverbial rat digs up the yard, makes a mess in the house innocently points to the cat he ignores whistle blowers with an arrogant swag pretends he didn’t hear a thing struts round the park with the big boys his snout up george w’s ring costello’s a cocky young spaniel always nipping at little johnny’s leg first he was trained to roll over more recently learned how to beg the two of them love to play chasey but costello can’t take a trick impatiently runs round wagging his tail but johnny won’t let go of the stick new to the pack is a beagle named rudd he’s been with them less than a year he’s noticed the dogs who look only ahead some mongrel will mount from the rear they run around yapping and looking for pats while sniffing each other’s butts rudd advocates a more subtle approach sits quietly licking his nuts a rottweiler, latham, aggressive and tough other dogs he’d have for a meal he was under control till he slipped of the leash then no-one could get him to heal his owner’s found him too hard to handle a danger to them and their health if he couldn’t bite someone, whether foe or a friend he’d end up biting himself clinton, a pointer, smooth and well groomed was caught with a cute pekingese he swore black and blue they weren’t having sex she was merely scratching his fleas rumours continually surfaced he was partial to the odd bit of tail he admitted that once he tried sniffing arse but swore he didn’t inhale a shih tzu dandy named gadd better known by his show name of “glitter” once hailed “the leader of the pack” now reviled as runt of the litter he fell from the heights of “best in show” to lower than a mutt on the skids not because he couldn’t perform but his breed can’t be trusted round kids to make head of the pack, it’s dog eat dog and often they’re merciless you can’t always tell what they’re up to not till you stand in their mess the world’s full of dogs, some massive some small none of them scared of a fight doesn’t matter a stuff how loud they can bark it comes down to how hard they can bite © Copyright 2007 Ian Bland Share this:TweetEmailMoreTelegram