The theme this week for Jon’s JVG Radio Method on 3RRR is “Duck“. Ed Bates is responsible for the background sounds.

Click to hear today’s poem… [audio:JVG_Poem20081109.mp3]


“It’s a boy! The family are proud to announce
Arrived a minute past midnight, ten pounds and one ounce
The first son and child born to Shirley and Cliff
Socrates Adonis Napoleon Smith”

Such a name brought with it high expectations
Less regard for the lad than their own aspirations
A curse and a burden tantamount to abuse
Unfazed they titled their second born “Zeus”

“Zeus Caesar Genghis Hippocrates
Nine pounds five ounces, a brother for Socrates”
It became quite apparent, even as a toddler
Zeus was less of a walker and more of a waddler

As a school mate observed “Clap your eyes on his bum
You’d reckon his arse was chewing on gum”
With the help of Aphrodite and Cleopatra, his sisters
He put corn pads on his cheeks so he wouldn’t get blisters

For obvious reasons they christened him “Duck”
Given his birth name he made sure it stuck
He wasn’t the scholar his parents envisioned
Future statesman, philosopher, judge or physician

Though he tried very hard he was thick as a plank
More of a “Wood Duck” to be perfectly frank
“Friendly and happy” chimed his mid year report
“Academically wanting but brilliant at sport”

Golf he was awesome, weightlifting – stunning!
Basically anything not reliant on running
Discus and javelin “Duck”really excelled
He’d just won the title when he was tragically felled

A voice screamed out “Duck”, he assumed a salutation
He stood arms raised high to acknowledge the adulation
That cry was no greeting but a warning to seek protection
A shot put, miscued, was hurtling their direction

His face bore the brunt of that errant thirteen pounder
Instantly “Duck” was re-christened “Flounder”

The moral is names should be chosen with care
Lest the weight of our projections prove too great to bear
Why pre-suppose the nature of a seed yet to sprout
A child who craves to fit in but is forced to stand out

The names we bestow remain after we’re gone
“Zeus” fathered four sons and he named them all “John”
Who needs an anchor, there’s enough toil and strife
Your name, like Herpes, is with you for life!

If the motive is prestige, independence or fame
Then love and support endows more than a name
If a non de plume is the direction you’re leaning
Ensure, unlike “Duck” it has only one meaning

© Copyright 2008 Ian Bland

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