RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Even“.

And I’m back. A backward show today, I ended up being last on.
Typical. You step out for 5 minutes ( ok a lot closer to 5 months) and they push down the back. I think Jon mignht have been getting “even”

Jon promised I would be back in the regular slot next week though.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


“No way that painting’s even.” Olive was insistent
“Yeah, it’s sloping to the left.” Roy was equally persistent

“It’s sloping to the right Roy, surely you can see?”
“You reckon”? he barked “looks the opposite to me”

“My darling Roy, angles require some degree of skill
I recall your billiard table paralleled the Punt Road Hill”

“Be that as it may Ol, that painting isn’t square
I’m not sure you know what ‘even’ is judging by your hair”

“Roy, it’s tilting right I’m telling you. Telling you, not asking
You, who scratches both nuts and thinks that’s multi-tasking”

“Settle Ol” we’ve company, that’s quite enough of that
You wouldn’t know what I scratched; you’re blinder than a bat”

The painting, an abstract, the subject of their fight
An arc, curving top left down to bottom right

Holding up the painting, Roy and Olive’s neighbour Neville
He grew tired of all the arguing and fetched his spirit level

He measured every angle to settle the debate
Declaring, beyond question, it was absolutely straight

“Straight?” scoffed Roy and Olive. “Neville, use your eyes”
“Your brain” sighed Nev “can trick you but the level never lies”

Neville tried explaining it was an optical illusion
But logic and reason merely deepened the confusion

Roy and Ol weren’t budging due to ignorance and pride
An exasperated Neville turned the painting on its side

“That’s better” snapped Roy “it’s even, even right and left”
If brains were spirit levels then poor Roy was bereft

“Well I’d have to say it’s even” Ol reluctantly concurred
“But who painted that garbage? It’s as ugly as a turd”

“It’s written on the back” quipped Roy “I don’t like the thing at all
Says the artists name is Donald Trump and he’s titled it ‘The Wall’

I preferred the watercolour. It really hit a chord
You remember, John Winston Howard, titled ‘Children Overboard?’

“That’s passé now” sneered Olive “I want edgy and designer
Here’s one called ‘Spratly Islands’ by an artist known as China”

“Art” sighed Neville ruefully “The art of deception
Truth, where truth exists cannot subjugate perception”

© Copyright 2016 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to the songs on “Angel In Reverse

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