Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Gold“.

Week 2 and JVG had Sarah Carroll in the studio this week. I had forgotten how good being here could be.

Sarah had some wonderfully kind things to say about the poems.

So this week for the first time in ages we head back to the “neighborhood”. It’s been a while.

Ed Bates supplied backing guitar

To hear this week’s poem – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to the songs on the New Album “Angel In Reverse


“Pig” Mills’ German Shepherd “Fang” held the street in fear
When the Stubbs’ Vanguard cleaned it up, no-one shed a tear

Its’ crown was quickly claimed as Alpha on the block
When the Lucek’s went to Darwin and brought home a baby Croc

While it wasn’t strictly legal, no-one thought it wrong
Besides the little tacker was barely one foot long

It made for conversation and gave everyone a laugh
Bruno had a playmate and it shared his weekly bath

Everything went smoothly till the plug became unstuck
They found that Crocodile had consumed the rubber duck

Meanwhile “Pig” was getting stroppy like only “Pig” could get
He’d lost the power endowed when you own a vicious pet

Envy turned him greener than an under ripe banana
With his birthday coming up, he asked his mum for a Piranha

His mother did her best but her efforts drew a blank
A day before “Pig’s” birthday all she’d managed was a tank

When “Pig” woke in the morning, his eyes leapt from his head
Here’s a scrawny looking Goldfish in a bowl beside the bed

Mrs Mills was petrified that “Pig” would be annoyed
Instead, he seemed delighted: in fact, quite overjoyed

He’d never seen Piranha, or Goldfish for that matter
The only fish he knew came with chips, deep fried in batter

He believed he had a killer so he named his Goldfish “Jaws”
Convinced his fish could beat a croc and thus advance his cause

“Jaws” swam round and round his bowl while “Pig” told him his troubles
The Goldfish didn’t say a word, just stared and blew back bubbles

“This fish is tough” “Pig” told himself “He’s itching for a rumble”
“He’ll tear apart that Crocodile, that amphibian will crumble”

Next day he challenged Bruno as they walked home after school
The fight to take place Saturday in the Kingsley’s swimming pool

The rules were very simple: one would end up dinner
The last one standing; or is that swimming? Would be declared the winner

The bookies were kept busy: the money all one way
The croc at evens: Jaws” a thousand: only “Pig” on him that day

The combatants dropped from the diving board: both a little nervous
Croc settled on the bottom: “Jaws” swam around the surface

Nothing changed for near an hour: the mood was getting tenser
Till a chlorine tablet dropped down from the automat dispenser

Croc took off like Pharlap, had it down in just one bite
Then the water went all cloudy and Croc dropped out of site

When it finally cleared, a scene that all but bookies dread
The favourite lying motionless: belly up, stone dead

Grumblings of nobbling came from the loser’s camp
But to all but “Pig’s” amazement, his Goldfish “Jaws” was champ

Still “Jaws” was listing starboard as the chlorine took its’ toll
“Pig” went to find the leaf net to return “Jaws” to his bowl

Alas too late to save the champ, “Jaws” by now so poorly
Too weak to even raise a fin, sucked up by creepy crawly

They received a heroes’ funeral: an Esky for a hearse
“Jaws” fed to the Chaplees’ cat: Croc became a purse

Like Spartacus and Nelson they at least went out in style
The only time in history a Goldfish beat a Crocodile

© Copyright 2014 Ian Bland

Angel In Reverse

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