Bland On Bland – The Book

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Hell “.

Well its a no brainer how JVG came up with this weeks theme. I’m betting JVG had to use public transport on a Sunday. Or maybe he just looked at the chaos that surrounds the running of the show. What ever it was, a good choice and there was really only one way for the poem to go. Time to continue our ongoing and admittedly one sided conversation with God

Dave Evans supplied the “thematically appropriate” sepulchral backing this week, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


Dear God, remember me? Hate to be a pain
I found another, other thing I was hoping you’d explain

This concept of ‘hell’, I mean, it sounds a bit austere
There are plenty who might argue that ‘hell’s’ already here

Eternal fire, the worms and the gnashing of the teeth
I imagine in Aleppo ‘hell’ might come as some relief

Myanmar, The West Bank; famine, wars, disease
‘Hell’ it seems is branching out, countless franchisees

Indigenous health, climate change, terror, greed and hate
And to think I feel aggrieved when the tram’s five minutes late

If I’m going to spend eternity in a place I haven’t seen
I need a few more details, you know what I mean?

Amenities, neighbours, security and protection
After all its real estate; hold an “Open for Inspection”

A fearsome inferno, filled with vile, grotesque, beasts
Regarding the latter, I’m guessing, many will be priests

A burning lake of sulphur sounds like a giant fondue
At least its energy efficient and I imagine quite a view

Though I doubt its carbon neutral and rather hot and dirty
I’ll probably need more than my usual Factor 30

It’s not thought of ‘hell’ post-death that fills me full of dread
It’s the ‘hell’ we’re unleashing now, here on earth, instead

It’s all about control, we make God the engineer
Religion like politics, understands the power of fear

I view myself as sceptical rather than profane
The blasphemous are the righteous who discriminate in your name

I hope I have a few years left, but hey, you never know
And I guess I’m one week closer than I was a week ago

While I’ve always liked a BBQ; a spit roast and a glass
I concede I might feel differently if the skewer was up my arse

Eternity in Hades? I think that’s a little bit rough
Four years of Donald Trump – that’s surely punishment enough

Anguish, torment, torture, degradation, misery
Compared to life in Mosul, how bad can ‘hell’ be?

Endless cooking game shows? Stop it now, you’re hurting
Only light beer served in Hell? That’s it, I’m converting

© Copyright 2017 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to the songs on my new album “Everything or Nothing

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.