Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Hit Records “.

Good afternoon Jon and greetings once again from Coventry.

Ah, the elusive hit record.

Do you know more than one hundred thousand albums are released every year by the record companies alone and 60% sell an average of 13 copies each.

You have more chance being elected to The Senate.

Actually, that’s not such a bad idea.

I could hand out my CD’s with the “How to Vote” cards – at least I might be able to get the car into the garage.

Worth a thought…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


Also have a listen to the songs on the New Album “Angel In Reverse

Hit Records

Slim Dusty had a monster
Norman Gunston’s somewhat small
Despite their reputation
The Ramones had none at all

Jane Clifton scored a couple
Angie Hart’s had one or two
Kylie’s had a squillion
Judith Durham, quite a few

Abigail went all the way
Though reviews were rather stinging
Milli Vanilli went platinum
And they weren’t even singing

The Monkees churned them out
Yet, not one note did they play
Billy Miller struck gold with a B-side
No-one remembers the A

Vanda and Young wrote dozens for others
And recorded a bagful themselves
Some should have, and could have, but for some reason haven’t
Bands, like The Large Number 12s

Thousands and thousands and thousands of songs
Compete for our wallets and hearts
Record companies buy their own product
To push a song up the charts

Fragments of genius, mountains of crap
Beautifully crafted or assembly line pap

A fresh idea, or off the shelf, like IKEA

Creatively stale, overwhelmingly male
Coated in sugar but a sting in the tail

Big budget, homemade, inventive, clichéd
Novelty, whacky, humorous, tacky

Hackneyed and tired, unique and inspired

Anthems, rockers, thrillers and shockers
Carpenters, Cold Chisels, Painters and Dockers

Ballads, thumpers, tearjerkers, crooners
Fodder for overworked auto-tuners

The prized, the despised
Hated and slated
The underexposed, the sadly outdated

Milestones and millstones
New skin on old bones

Angry, lovesick, indulgent and brash
Porn, nonsensical, poetic or trash

Maria, Mariah, Jonas and Janis
GooGoo and Gaga, London and Paris
Stock, Aitken, Waterman, Lohan and Zimmerman

Gangsta for fighters, waltzes for lovers
Covers of others’ covers of others

Magnetic, prosaic, inventive, formulaic
Ghost Town to Motown
Brill to Stax, Downloads to Wax

Hurdy Gurdy, Berry Gordy
Beatles, Birtles
Stray Cats and Turtles
Joe South to Kayne West
Oldfield to Nu’est

Tubular Bells, Coloured Balls
Tiny Tim, Biggie Smalls
Dire Straits, Falling Joys
Spice Girls, Waterboys

Born to be wild or Born to run
Welcome to the house of fun
The house of the ever rising sun
In our white sports coats and Yellow submarines
We dwell forever
Together in electric dreams

© Copyright 2013 Ian Bland

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.