Bland On Bland – Hospital Workers

Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Hospital Workers“.

A bit of confusion over the topic this week. JVG sent out “Hospo Workers” which I and one or two of the other regular contributors took to be HOSPITAL WORKERS as any sane person would but no JVG claims he meant “hospitality workers” which is a different poem.

I think as a community we have let ourselves fall into this bit of a bubble where we think, well, there’s nothing going on, no community Covid cases, why should I wear a mask?

Look what can happen in a week!

As recently as last weekend, I caught trains on three lines and less than 50% were wearing masks in some of the carriages.

I’m going to dedicate this poem, even though it’s a sarcastic poem to Suzie who we lost earlier this year.

Suzie was a nurse, and while she had other issues going on for her, undeniably a significant contributing factor was working in ICU at the peak of the COVID crisis in Victoria, losing patients, it would have been an incredibly stressful environment to be in and one day she went home from work and ended it.

Anybody who may be experiencing those sorts of feelings, please contact Lifeline or seek help – though I also realise when you’re right down in that funk it is very hard to think clearly or even find the desire to seek help.
So that’s on us, friends, family, to keep an eye out for one another.

So for all the people thinking, oh, look, it’s not out there, why should I wear a mask?

Just remember this, health care workers are the people who have to pick up the pieces and deal with the pressure and anguish.

They are human and despite their training of course they will carry some of the trauma.

So don’t think of yourself and the so called violation of your civil rights, think of those who have to deal with the consequences.

Rant over!

Ed Bates provided the music backing and sound effects. Thatch provided the audio production, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Hospital Workers

Position vacant; start asap
First you’ll need to obtain a degree

A B.N. takes three years, diploma takes two
The following duties expected of you

Clean up vomit, dribble, urine and puss
Blood, ulcers, other discharges plus

Wash out the bedpans, wipe the odd bum
Check for bed sores then when you’re done

Change all the sheets, tidy the beds
Then there’s bathing, feeding, administer meds

Comfort, encourage, calm, reassure
Tea break? You’re joking, c’mon, there’s more

Monitor, counsel, deal with complaints
Of course we’re short staffed, blame budget constraints

Advocate, resuscitate, inoculate, protect
Organise, sterilise, sanitise, disinfect

Help allay fears and comfort the grieving
You may look composed but looks are deceiving

You’ll work crazy hours both day and night
Go home feeling drained, c’mon you’re alright

Deal with patient’s frustrations, gripes about food
The odd arrogant doctor; it’s their job to be rude

It’s your job to be blamed for the faults of the system
Show empathy, concern, compassion and wisdom

Be sensitive to cultural and religious requirements
And when you’re abused remember patients are clients

You’ll enable the unstable; inform the infirm
Insert huge suppositories and watch grown men squirm

Then jeopardise your health in ICU
For some prick who claims Covid is less than the flu

You’ll see violence, stupidity, and get to clean up the mess
Your reward will be working under incredible stress

Annual bonus? For nurses? That’s not the norm
As a treat we’ll let you to buy your own uniform

Just remember you’re paid from the public purse
Who creates more wealth, a casino or a nurse?

If you want better conditions there are other employers
Try something productive – the world needs more lawyers

© Copyright 2021 Ian Bland


Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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