Pic by Tim Chuma

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “If – A Barbeque Day Homage to Rudyard Kipling“.

Thanks to everyone who came a long for making it such a great day.
Especially the team who moved everything from the rained out CERES site to the RRR performance spaceand got us to air on time – brilliant job guys.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

If – A Barbeque Day Homage to Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when those about you
Are losing theirs to some faddish TV chef
If they view your ancient barbeque and doubt you
If you can smile, turn the chops and draw a breath

If you can proudly serve your guests a humble snag
Delighting in the joys of simple fare
Without affectatious airs, or need to brag
Of quail, on blistered grape, with loin of hare

If you can host and not lose sight of your goal
Draw on the Neanderthal within, to inspire
Remember, a Rustic Herbed Brioche is just – a roll
And a barbeque is nought but food and fire

If you can look a vegan firmly in the eye
And swear the pork is soy, and do not wilt
And when they find a bone, can still deny
Absolving them of both the shame and guilt

If your hipster friends, a boutique brew they crave
If their palettes you can fool with common draught
Lace each glass with a splash of aftershave
Convincing the stupid pricks the beer is “craft”

If you can burn the shit out of a trout
Then calmly scrape what’s left into a dish
Sprinkle it with spice and share it out
Pass it off as Cajun Blackened Fish

If others give advice, and seek your tongs
And gaze upon your grate and smugly scoff
Remind them, to whom this barbeque belongs
They can either butter bread, or bugger off

© Copyright 2014 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to the songs on the New Album “Angel In Reverse


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