Bland On Bland – Introductions

Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Introductions“.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


This is an introduction to a poem that does not exist
It did for a while, now it doesn’t; it’s been culled if you get my gist

I thought it was good in a half good way; that was until I read it
Having conferred with my frontal lobe, the decision was made to shred it

It smelled like a wrestler’s armpit; ill-conceived, unimaginative farce
By the second draft, so indulgent it disappeared up its own arse

I tried going arty and abstract; an abortive attempt at wit
It was arty alright – like a nosebleed; a pile of pretentious shit

I changed the metre and structure; I went from rhyming to prose
Like planting a flower by a septic tank; looks pretty but still on the nose

Drafts five and six offered little improvement; I began to disengage
I could have achieved no lesser result if I’d vomited over the page

Drafts seven to ten, prosaic dross; I was forced to admit defeat
In the end I had no option but to fall on my sword – delete

To be honest this intro’s no better; to be fair, I have an excuse
What’s the point of an introduction when there’s nothing to introduce

It’s like contemplating infinity and adding to the confusion
What was meant to be an introduction has ended up a conclusion

© Copyright 2019 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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