Bland On Bland – Johnny

Photo By Jools Thatcher
Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Johnny” – the refuge of all those Johns with a dubious past or hoping for a shady future.

Surprisingly, not as common as you’d think.

Forgive the spelling, I know many of them are spelt Johnnie, Jonnie, Jonni and other variations on the word but for the most part (not wanting to spend the rest of my life doing research) I have spelt them Johnny.

Shouldn’t be too many problems though – a majority are dead.

We haven’t got the recording for this one (yet)


John – as a name is both solid and strong
Conservative, safe – you can’t really go wrong

It will serve you well till the day you die
Or live on the edge – simply add on a “Y”

One stroke of the pen seals the fate of your heirs
Because John is for Kings – Johnny’s for lairs

Johnny Winter, Johnny Thunders, Johnny Lightning, Johnny Storm
That one little “Y” has the power to transform

Johnny’s a favourite in popular culture
Johnny Quest, Johnny Bravo, Johnny Blaze, Johnny Vulture

Movies, Johnny Yuma, Johnny Angel, Johnny Suede
Perhaps not the greatest film ever made

Johnny English, Johnny Handsome, Johnny Mnemonic
Which despite Keanu Reeves is frankly moronic

Johnny Depp, voted the world’s sexiest man
Johnny Weissmuller, still the greatest Tarzan

Johnny Boles who starred beside Gloria Swanson
Where would Chuck Berry be without Johnnie Johnson?

In films they excel, in music they star
Southside Johnny, Johnny Otis, Johnny Marr

Johnny Chester – “Highway 31”
Johnny Mercer – “Midnight Sun”
Johnny Preston “Running Bear”
Johnny Mathis “Take Good Care”
Johnny Rivers “Secret Agent Man”
Johnny Wakelin “Black Superman”

Johnny Tillotson, Ashcroft, Dankworth, and Nash
Burnette, Young, and the great Johnny Cash

Famechon, Hallyday, Carson, Fontane
Paycheck, Possum, Lang and Tremain

Johnny Miller could swing, Johnny Bristol had soul
Johnny Platten and Longmire both loved a goal

Our own Johnny Vane, one of Ben Hall’s gang
Johnny Ringo, the outlaw, went out with a bang

Johnny Horton’s short life was accident prone
Johnny Kidd died young – as did Johnny Ramone

Johnny Ace between sets, 25 years of age
Johnny “Guitar” Watson at least pegged out on stage

Johnny Sangster sounds dangerous, Johnny Topper sounds stately
Johnny Nitro, he’s a Johnny come lately

A mere sniff of Johnny Walker makes me feel pissed
While I’m at it add Johnny Howard to that list

Once you’ve taken the “Y” you can never turn back
Johnny Cougar keeps trying – and Whispering Jack

As much as John Lydon might want it forgotten
Till he draws his last breath he’ll be Johnny Rotten

Like a pact with the devil, they would if they could
But there’s no “Bye, bye, Johnny” just “Johnny B Good”

Adding the “Y” doesn’t suit every name
Can’t imagine Johnny Lennon, Johnny Cleese, Johnny Wayne

Olivia Newton Johnny? I think not!
Though Johnny Diesel’s more edgy than Mark Lizotte

Johnny the Baptist doesn’t sit right at all
Saint Johnny, Dr Johnny, Pope Johnny Paul

But as all of you Johnnys’ instinctively know
Without the “Y” you’re just another John Doe

Come out of the closet, joyous and free
Don’t hide in an acronym like JVG

No reason to “Cry” – except Johnny Ray
Be loud and be proud – cause it’s JOK

© Copyright 2010 Ian Bland

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