Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Leaves “.

I liked this one, sometimes it’s a bit hard to figure out where Jon is coming from with his choice of themes but this week it was a doddle.

Once again I had the pleasure of Ed Bates on the slide guitar backings.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to the tracks on the new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World


Not those bloody leaves again
Blocking up the spout
It’s barely been a year
Since I cleared the buggers out

I’d ban all deciduous
I’m sure that’s not surprising
I’d sue your so called “evergreens”
For misleading advertising

I blame the CSIRO
Their efforts are appalling
All that public funding
Can’t stop the leaves from falling

Those thieving Ring Tail Possums
I’d have a bounty on their head
Devouring my Camellias
Flowers? I’d give them lead

Wattle Birds and Parrots
No more than flying rats
We’d soon clean up the suburbs
If everyone kept cats

What we need are more developers
To fight this green disease
They’d sort out the neighbourhood
And those litter dumping trees

Fill the streets with concrete
Car parks, tinted glass
A pristine roof top garden
Complete with artificial grass

This countries golden era
Died, with DDT
Now you can’t enjoy the garden
Without a butterfly or bee

Sure, there’s sprays to take out insects
And soft cock herbicides
But nothing like the permanence
A defoliant provides

Defoliants, used in Vietnam
Helped us whip The Cong
Aside from cancer and birth defects
Name one thing they did wrong

But my macrobiotic, neighbours
Hate me spraying day and night
So their kids have all got asthma
My Primula’s got Blight

You never get a moments rest
Sweeping, raking, mowing
If nature has a weakness
It’s that everything keeps growing

What should give you pleasure
Brings you nought but grief
You cheeky little bastard
There goes another leaf!

© Copyright 2012 Ian Bland

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