Bland On Bland – Little People

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method is “Little People”.

I was up the bush this week so I phoned the segment in.

Click here to listen to today’s poem as soon as the audio is cleaned up.

[audio:JVG_Poem20090412.mp3]

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Little People

At five foot ten – give or take a foot – “Little” Richard wasn’t that small
Who cared? The “King” of Rock’n’roll was coming to Festival Hall

It was the early to middle seventies – I don’t remember exactly when
Post his “Born Again” Christian stage – and pre being “Born Again” again

He pranced onto stage, mascara and perm, very glam, though a touch overcooked
Spent most of the show asking the crowd how beautiful they thought he looked

I expected his trademark theatrics, but this went on a bit long
Someone yelled out “You’re gorgeous, Ok!? Now sing us a bloody song”

He responded by singing a handful – and two of those were repeated
I left that concert amused and bemused – and feeling a little bit cheated

When he was belting out “Long Tall Sally” “Little” Richard appeared to grow taller
But when he was bathing in his own magnificence – I’ve never seen anyone smaller

Your colour or sex, looks or physique don’t make you more stupid or bright
Being small and standing tall have got nothing to do with your height

None stronger, or braver than Joan of Arc, hailed as a leader of men
Like Mother Theresa, admired and revered and both a mere four foot ten

Pamela Anderson’s five foot five and she rose to the top of the pack
I’m not sure if they measured her standing up or lying flat on her back

Bo Derek scored a perfect ten and she’s less than five foot four
Even so, she still looked down on her co-star Dudley Moore

If you fancied yourself as an actor, who would you emulate?
Schwarzenegger at six foot two? Or Brando at five foot eight?

Einstein was only five foot nine and you can’t question his IQ
Picasso, Piaf, Voltaire and Keats – they were all short arses too

Madonna, Mahler, Kylie and Prince, Beethoven and most of his peers
Paul Simon, Bette Midler, Lou Reed, Dolly Parton – do I have to mention Brittany Speers?

Who would you rather have argue your case as you pleaded for entry to heaven?
Mahatma Ghandi at five foot three or George W at five foot eleven

You don’t need height or humour to help you stand out in a crowd
There’s plenty who succeed without either – just look at “Little” Johnny Howard

It was my intention to end this verse with a deep and meaningful thought
But I decided instead to stay true to the theme and keep this poem – well – short!

© Copyright 2009 Ian Bland