This week’s poem I wrote for Jon’s JVG Radio Method on 3RRR is the opposite of “BIG”. The topic Jon decided on for today is “LITTLE”.

Click to hear today’s poem… [audio:JVG_Poem20071028.mp3]

This week I decided to give Ed a bit of a challenge… I wanted a Sousa march for the backing today. The poem is about long ago Sunday afternoons watching wrestling on the TV. Jon and I chatted about the upcoming BBQ Orchestra extravaganza ( more news as soon as we have some)

Ed Bates supplied the guitar backing. I think he did a great job.


“Wam Bam Thank You Mam,” in a gruff mid western drawl
“Gentleman” Jack Little, ringside, live from Festival Hall

As Waldo von Erich, the devil incarnate, clad in nazi regalia
Puts the sleeper hold on Larry O’dea, the sweetheart of all of Australia

Brute Bernard pulls a tap from his trunks and smashes Mark Lewin’s knee
While “The Mongolian Stomper” and “Abdullah the Butcher” beat crap out of the referee

“King” Curtis applies the abdominal stretch, “Gorgeous” George begs him to stop
“Haystacks” Calhoun cleans up “Skull” Murphy with a well rehearsed Atomic Drop

An eight man, all in tag team match, where a couple of tonnes intermesh
Not so much a mountain of muscle, as a slag heap of gelatinous flesh

Forget muscle tone, they went for bulk, no sculptured pecks and abs
They didn’t muck round with six packs then, no, they went for several slabs

The cold war simmered when Nikita Kalmikoff took on Tex Mckenzie one day
Jack omitted to mention, in his tense introduction, they both came from the USA

To make way for ad break, On Jack’s secret signal, one wrestler took a dive without fail
Intro Franco Cozzo, of Brunsawick and Footizgray, grand siale, grand siale, grand siale

Mario Milano, Sheik Wadi Ayoub, Chief Big Heart, Dominic Denucci
Andre the Giant, The Von Steiger Brothers, Spiros Arion and Mr Fuji

Arabs and Jews, French and Italians, all mixed it up on the mat
Americans, Greeks, Japanese, Germans, it couldn’t get more Australian than that

Out in suburbs, my grandma, a Scot, would be glued to her TV at home
Normally gentle but strong, calm turned to rage, she’d sit in her arm chair and foam

A widow for decades, no interest in men, but Jack Little made her palpitate
Channel Nine every Sunday, precisely at noon, grandma and Jack had a date

When he copped the Brain Buster from “Killer” Karl Cox, Jack had to call in a brace
Nan rang the station and her local MP, to protest this national disgrace

Everyone cheered for the good guy’s, who the next week would pretend to be bad
The crowd lapped it up like a John Wayne movie, no-one seemed to care they’d been had

One week a wrestler’s an Hawaiian Prince, the next an Indian Chief
How the audience took it so seriously, even now it beggars belief

But people are suckers for good versus evil, and the line in between starts to cloud
It worked as well for “Killer” Kowalski, as for Bush and “Little” Johnny Howard

How my grandmother bought it, an intelligent woman, is the part I never got
Riding each blow, and loyal, fiercely loyal, but fiercely loyal to what?

Perhaps to a husband long lost to her, to a marriage still honoured, alone
Perhaps her eleven children, she’d struggled to raise on her own

Did the wrestling give form to the cruelty, the cheating, unfairness, the strife
Was she shouting, perhaps, beyond the TV, at the injustices in her life?

Jack Little has long since left this earth, around the time Nan died
If heaven exists as the Hollywood clich‚, they’ll both be up there, ringside

Jack shouting hoarse, “This is warfare not wrestling,” as Nan gives a satisfied chuckle
And triumphantly “Pile Drives” “Killer” Karl Cox, for eternity, from the top turnbuckle

© Copyright 2007 Ian Bland

2 comments on “Bland On Bland – Little

  • mum has never listened to rrr but by chance happened to be near my radio last sunday…
    she is still laughing hysterically at the memories in your poem… as per your grandma, it was a family affair at my mums house too, every sunday, all screaming at the tv trying to warn jack of impending injury… thanks and you just converted another listener…

  • The memories! What a fantastic take on wrestling culture…….. As a kid, compulsory viewing!

    For all of us lucky to grow up with wcw, it is still such a talking point after a few beers.

    One of my prized possessions is a wrestling chart, with a letter from Roy heffernan……..priceless.



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