Bland On Bland – Mad

Photo By Jools Thatcher
Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Mad “.

Coventry UK: Good afternoon Jon, today finds me back in the Midlands of England and a return to warm beer and indifferent weather which I’m becoming particularly fond of – the beer that is.

Saw Nils Lofgren in Northhampton last week, a surprisingly good show, Canadian Devon Sproule at Taylor Johns, and several great local acts at The Nursery Tavern In Chapelfields, including, Kristy Gallacher, Lucy Anne Sale and Wes Finch and the Dirty Band, so I’m not sitting on my backside.

Sadly, I believe the Megahertz suffered a crushing defeat at the hands of the Rockdogs last weekend – all I can say Jon is I hope you can live with yourself!
Did your defection come as a shock? A big yes.
Am I disappointed? Definitely!
But am I mad? Phhh

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to the tracks on the new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World


Am I getting mad? Who me? Get away!
I mean, I get a bit tired this time of day

Because I’m not grinning from ear to ear
Doesn’t mean I’m mad! Where’d you get that idea?

I’m not unhappy, well, I’m not overjoyed
Though I wouldn’t exactly say I’m annoyed

Testy maybe, grumpy at best
Or should that be “at worst”? Oh, give it a rest

If I looked hard enough, who knows what I’d find?
But I know what isn’t going on in my mind

So, no, I’m not mad, and I’m tired of this crap
Perhaps a tad tense, but I’m not going to snap

I’ll tell you again, you’ve made a bad call
There is nothing bothering me at all

Alright, a few little niggles that sort of frustrate me
A few minor issues that really irritate me

The odd thing that constantly needles and grates
I am only human, I’ve got my pet hates

But no, I’m not angry, go ahead, scoff
I’ll add you to the list of things pissing me off

Things like
Brittney Spiers, Mylie Cyrus
Cold sores, Ebola virus

Andrew Bolt, Alan Jones
The invasiveness of mobile phones

Public transport cancellations
Sex and age discrimination

All forms of fundamentalism
Blinkered, fervent, nationalism
What passes now for journalism

Obsession with celebrity
VIP’s, The monarchy
Autocracy and anarchy

Designer brands, fur and bling
In fact just about everything

Garish displays of obscene wealth
Lack of funds for mental health

Arms dealers, and munitions
Radio presenters, politicians

Sweat shops, Shopping malls
Smart arses, know it alls

Collateral damage, Cluster bombs
Predictive text, Cd roms

Al Quaeda, the Taliban
The CIA, The Klu Klux Klan

Casinos filled with mindless pokies
Lip sync and karaoke

Paris Hilton, spoiled rotten
Bush and Howard, not forgotten

All religions, every one
The front half of The Herald Sun

Flood, drought, famine, war
Wine buffs get up my craw
“Hint of melon, touch of straw”

Budget cuts costing lives
Roads choked with four wheel drives

Standard of suburban trains
Multi national fast food chains

Spam and unsolicited material
Crap that goes in breakfast cereal

Housing prices, rent too dear
Cost of living, price of beer

Public transport on the skids
Advertising aimed at kids

Laughable self regulation
Public health and education

Mass abuse of Human rights
“Robin Hood – Men in tights”

Racism, nothing new
From locals and from migrants too

Wages paid to CEO’s
Painful, so called, talent shows
Barbie, Dora, G.I. Joe
I really hate the Adelaide Crows

Communism, Fascism
Economic rationalism

Holes in donuts
Muesli with no nuts

Pips left in pitted prunes
Carob flavoured macaroons

Rupert Murdoch’s News cartel
Poets – damn them all to hell

Any type of line or queues
Any body else’s views
And every one of you and youse and ——

Ah, I see your game! You think I’m a child
Push me a bit and watch me get riled

But I didn’t get mad, so get off my case
Get that microphone out of my face

© Copyright 2011 Ian Bland

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