Bland On Bland – Mathematical Equations

Photo By Jools Thatcher
Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Mathematical Equations”

Jon takes a week off and look what he comes up with. Mathematical Equations is stretching it a bit.

Dave Evans (who rides a bicycle ) is on the box in his seat this week.

Ed Bates “car broke down” – yeah right.

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Drifter – The Album

Mathematical Equations

From our moment of birth till departing this earth

We quantify characteristics

Measured and weighed, assessed and assayed

Less flesh and blood than statistics

Worry and cram from test to exam

Potential reduced to a score

Talent encumbered, analysed, numbered

Possession’s 9 tenths of the law

Weight versus height, stupid or bright

Pressure on kids so intense

A lofty IQ, has nothing to do

With integrity, kindness and sense

Now all daily rigours are based upon figures

I find it wears a bit thin

Down at the bank, my name draws a blank

But they swoon at the sound my PIN

My doctor’s the same, though he calls me by name

It’s procedural rather than matey

I know in his mind, I’m forever defined

As 139 over 80

Life insurance, a punt on endurance

Complex equations apply

The longer you live, the more money you give

Only one way to win – and that’s die!

While the chances of winning the lottery’s thinning

Over 2.3 million to one

A similar mark to being nipped by a shark

At least one bite and you’re done

On average, men’s lives fall short of their wives

Fleeced years of quality time

Women accrue, 84.2

While blokes drop at 79

To better the odds and outsmart the gods

I plan to alter my fate

Claw back the years with a snip of the shears

Have a sex change at 78

The world gets hysterical at all things numerical

Taxation, migration, inflation

Graphs and schematics, applied mathematics

The world is one big equation

Life, I confirm = egg over sperm

Times around 500 million

Multiply these by just the Chinese

We’re pushing close to a trillion

Take that figure, less, diseases and stress

Over greed to the power of beer

Divide it by war, disasters, the poor

It’s a miracle anyone’s here

Discard the dregs, divide by the legs

Then again by your DNA

Allow for vaccines, take off your genes

That’s genes, with a G not a J

Deduct cigarettes, sloth and regrets

And anything you can’t control

Add vegies and fruit and the odd square root

Plus a bonus for humour and soul

Tally it up, pour it all in a cup

Drink it, smoke it, or take it

Forget times and division, it’s still your decision

Life, in the end’s what you make it

© Copyright 2010 Ian Bland

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