Bland On Bland – Medical Advice

Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Medical Advice“.

JVG has been having a run of interesting themes this year, delegating out the work. Did he seek (da da da dum) “Medical Advice over the break or is it more likely that he is just being slack?

Hmmm, I think we can all guess the answer.

Some more observations on internet experts.

Ed Bates provided the music backing and sound effects. Thatch provided the audio production, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Medical Advice

Thank God for the World Wide Web and the wisdom it contains
Knowledge so exhaustive there’s no need to use your brains

A portal to the truth and it has broken our reliance
On all the dodgy goings on like medicine and science

Common sense be damned, it’s taught me all I know today
Such as chemicals in our water are turning people gay

It’s a fact; immutable; water’s turning people queer
Imagine what would happen if we all drank ginger beer

For every sickness and disease the internet has the answer
Like the magnet purchased online, guaranteed to cure cancer

As for Covid, it’s a hoax, death rate grossly overstated
There is absolutely no way I’ll be getting vaccinated

It’s just a ruse, a lie, a plot, to have us all micro-chipped
Then turned into zombies and have our memories stripped

Besides, I’m immune; I bathe in Ultra Violet light
Drink cow urine and smear my chest with vegemite

This is the twenty-first century; the dark ages have gone
All our claims are backed with proof – supplied by QAnon

Regarding the vaccines that the so called experts preach
Why support big pharma when you can skull a pint of bleach?

I mean why pay to see a doctor? It’s a total waste of breath
Medical advice is freely available from a television chef

They say “You are what you eat” and I don’t mind a decent feed
Though these days, more accurately “You are what you read”

© Copyright 2021 Ian Bland


Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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