Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ News “.

And the news this week is, Jon decided to have a “sickie”. So the show was hosted by the inimitable Brian Nankervis. To say that he turned the show on it’s head would be an understatement.

There was discussion of football {usually banned}, Neil Young and Bob Dylan were mentioned {usually banned} and best of all, Ed was allowed to speak {usually banned}.

As Dan Warner pointed out “there will be hell to pay next week.”

Ed Bates  played really great backing guitar this week. Obviously inspired by his new found (and probably shortlived) freedom.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to the tracks on the new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World


“Upset at the Logies” That’s what the headline said
Page six, a bomb in Kabul; One hundred people dead

“Rain disrupts the cricket” “A storm” claimed the report
While a killer flood in China, just a ripple, down near sport

The sorry state of indigenous health deserves to be revealed
But can’t compete with breaking news like Fashions on the Field

Aung San Suu Kyi? A golfer? No? We’d rather Brittney Speers
Or some hackneyed boy band’s comeback after more than twenty years

Over dinner, who wants stories that sicken and depress
So what’s dished up as news these days is often something less

Imagine if an asteroid came hurtling through space
Six days until it impacts and wipes out the human race

How will the world react to such catastrophe?
What will be the headlines in the papers and TV?

“The Age” will lead, as usual, with a restaurant review
Coverage of impending doom, the bottom of page two

“Today” on Channel Nine will be indefinitely postponed
Eddie will announce the whole planet’s being boned

“A Current Affair” will broadcast news until the end
Mostly diets, scams and gossip, and the latest fashion trend

“The Fin Review” will focus on economic implications
How extinction affects investors and its impact on inflation

Seven’s Bruce McAvaney will broadcast live from Mars
Use the asteroid to cross promote “Dancing with the Stars”

Reports just in, the asteroid’s already on its way
So “Today Tonight’s” on early and renamed “Tonight Today”

The news on SBS will be as usual, dry and bleak
The end will come with subtitles in Arabic and Greek

You think things can’t get worse, then SBS announce a shocker
Following the news five days of bloody soccer

“The Australian”, Murdoch’s Pit Bull, will maintain the right’s assault
“We warned the sky would fall in; It’s the Labour Party’s fault”

Rupert, ever stoic, has more important things to handle
At least he’ll get some respite from the phone hacking scandal

The ABC will soldier on in an understated way
A repeat of Pell and Dawkins for one last “Q & A”

Won’t waver from their format for the last news broadcast ever
Though it seems a little pointless, they’ll still include the weather

They’re thrilled at Channel 10, though their joy’s somewhat perverse
Delighted, when the world’s destroyed, their ratings can’t get worse

The final word, “The Herald-Sun” with trademark poignancy
“The world to end in one week – Ablett out for three”

© Copyright 2012 Ian Bland

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