May 20, 2018 | Ian Bland | Leave a comment The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Northern Journeys“. Bit of a rant this week. Can’t imagine what set it off… No Ed this week ( I think he ducked for cover ), have a listen to how it went below… To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below: https://ianbland.com.au/audio/JVG_Poem20180520.mp3 Northern Journeys Turned the TV on last night, switched channels, back and forth A media apocalypse, the whole country’s headed north North to Windsor, as in England; not the suburb near Prahran When it comes to the monarchy I’m not the biggest fan A communications cold sore, and what’s worse, it was spreading Everyone fixated on yet another royal wedding The press in a frenzy, digging up the goss Etiquette consultants, royal watchers spewing dross Sycophantic toadies and we’re canvassing their views Shallow, trifling drivel which is then passed off as news So called journalists labelling the whole thing a ‘debacle’ It’s the only word the lazy pricks could find to rhyme with Markle Of course her dress was gorgeous and Charlie’s speech was sweet All your fawning subjects lined the route; even Fergie scammed a seat So Meghan’s father couldn’t make it; why get so excited? Think of poor Prince Harry, his dad was not invited The guests, those noble stiffs: the paths of least resistance It’s a miracle those wastrel toffs breathe without assistance Ship them all to an island, it wouldn’t cause much trouble The British average IQ would probably more than double Dribbling, gormless, plum suckers, who can’t tie their own shoes Their talents stretch as far as which knife and fork to use The nobility’s dysfunctional; that’s probably what we like Dish up a royal train wreck and watch the ratings spike The royals are our Kardashians; everyone’s obsessed Who’s the bigger knob, Phil the Dill or Kanye West? You might ask, and rightly so, who am I to judge? I’ll bite the head of anything that gives football the nudge Bumped it down to 7 Mate, the arse end of TV While the nuptials plodded on and on, all in full HD Forced to watch the Shopping Channel for something stimulating A bagless, vacuum cleaner was far more captivating Meghan, I hope your special day was very pleasant Email your address, I’ll send my TV as a present Anyway, I’ve said my piece, time to shut my mouth While we’re all looking north, the republic’s heading south I better leave it there before they charge me with sedition God save the Queen; there’s no hope for television © Copyright 2018 Ian Bland Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing” <a href=”http://music.ianbland.com.au/album/everything-and-nothing”>Everything And Nothing by Ian Bland</a> Share this:TweetEmailMoreTelegram