Bland On Bland – Peace

Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Peace“.

Last show for the year phoned in. A Christmas theme, well that’s how I interpreted it and it appears Ed did as well ( some nice bell ringing in there)

So that’s it for 2021, another year of covid, vaccinations, lockdowns and some amazing creativity. I for one am looking forward to 2022.

Ed Bates provided the musical backing.

Thatch provided the audio production, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


Christmas: a time of peace, celebrated Covid style
A blend of myrrh and frankincense, AstraZeneka and bile

When family comes together and everyone relaxes
Inside for double jabbers, back yard for anti-vaxxers

Gran’s waiting at the gate; leaves you standing on the road
No-one gets in till they’ve scanned the QR Code

Cousin Baz is in a festive mood, predicts the apocalypse
Won’t touch the Christmas Pudding, thinks it’s full of 5G chips

Auntie Thelma’s pissed off, she bought Baz a new TV
If the world ends then she’s wasted the 5 year guarantee

But Cousin Sue sides with Baz; says it’s the end of humankind
Vaccines alter chemistry and take over your mind

They both look a little queasy but at least their bowels are clean
They’re on their third bottle of Hydroxychloroquine

Uncle Kev rolls his eyes, thinks they’re morons anyway
They’d be doing him a favour if it changed their DNA

Claims it’s reason enough for getting vaccinated
If their DNA was changed he’d no longer be related

Another cousin’s hoeing in, didn’t even stop to ask
Consumed five dozen oysters without taking off his mask

When he finally pulls it off Gran goes into a tizz
Because no-one has the foggiest who the bugger is

Baz and Sue leave early to meet up with some mates
To tunnel under Fed Square; they’re trying to find Bill Gates

And the caverns full of paedophiles living underground
Last time they hit the sewer and a turd was all they found

Auntie Thelma leaves soon after, Uncle Kev’s not far behind
Gran pours herself a brandy and can finally unwind

Of course she’s left with all the mess but doesn’t give a stuff
She only sees them once a year and once a year’s enough

Gran goes to do the dishes but decides she can’t be arsed
She puts on Black Sabbath; peace and quiet at last

© Copyright 2021 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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