Photo By Jools Thatcher

Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “ Problem Children “.

After last weeks ridiculous theme, perhaps Jon is reflecting on his own behaviour? Somehow I think not.

Ed (no relation to the Edmund in the poem… ) Bates supplied the guitar backing this week

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to the songs on the New Album “Angel In Reverse

Problem Children

Edmund was a model student, so his parents thought
That image soon dispelled when they received his school report

His father, in denial, scoffed “There must be some confusion”
A phone call to the principal soon shattered that allusion

“Disruptive and aggressive, sexist, overbearing”
“Often late for classes, reprimanded twice for swearing”

“One minute ranting wildly, then in a blink, the clown”
“Anyone who disagrees, he rudely shouts them down”

“Dishonest and deceitful: prone to telling lies”
“Lists his favourite pastime as pulling wings off flies”

His parents were in shock, at a loss as what to do
“Disruptive and aggressive?” This was not the boy they knew

They took him to the doctor for a complete examination
She then referred him on for a psych evaluation

A raft of top end specialists, every discipline and flavour
Psychiatrists, psychologists, experts in behaviour

Each one had a theory, with a long impressive name
But despite months of therapy things remained the same

Till Olwyn Milch, their neighbour, dental nurse, retired
In a fifty year career had learnt a bit how brains were wired

“Tell me” pondered Olwyn “Does Ed watch much TV?”
His father, quipped defensively” “Only ABC”

“Strictly supervised of course. Why, is that a crime?”
“Does that include” quizzed Olwyn “parliamentary question time?”

“Well, yes” he answered guardedly “Research for Ed’s exams”
“There’s your cause” said Olwyn “Worse than “Silence of the lambs”

A lay diagnosis overlooked by Ed’s physicians
His conduct only mirrored our esteemed politicians
The pitiful example they’re setting for our kids
No wonder their standing and reputation’s on the skids

Do we expect too little of the members we elect?
The way they carry on they aren’t deserving of respect

Despite the hollow promises we keep falling for their spin
Are we the ones to blame? – We’re the fools who vote them in

You really can’t blame Ed for behaving like a Bourke
Poor Edmund was a victim of democracy at work

While his manners have improved they say he won’t recover fully
The odds are he’ll always be both bigot and a bully

Ed’s councillor suggested he’d make a great MP
There’s a chance he could land a job as a host on 2GB

© Copyright 2012 Ian Bland

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