The theme this week for Jon’s JVG Radio Method on 3RRR is “Radio“. Can you believe Jon hasn’t used it already? Ed Bates is responsible for the backing guitar.

Click to hear today’s poem… [audio:JVG_Poem20081005.mp3]


Those early teenage years were no chance to take a breather
No longer considered a child but you weren’t an adult either

More was expected but still you had no rights
Even predatory marketers didn’t have you in their sights

Once you’d outgrown Mr Squiggle and the sultry Princess Panda
Television grew boring, all ads and adult propaganda

I was prematurely aging from the rubbish on TV
Neurotic from “Days of our bloody lives” and “Marcus Welby MD”

It was the dark days before computer games, MP3’s and internet
But Christmas brought Salvation – a humble crystal set

Once those bulldog clips found metal on the frame around my bed
A new world opened up to me “The Greater 3UZ”

“Hidey Hi Victoria” my favourite show began
Melbourne’s “Rocky Jockey” the one and only “Stan the Man”

His passion was infectious and made the music come alive
Beat the crap out of my collection – one Cliff Richard forty five

He played “The latest and the greatest” – if you didn’t like it – “tough”
And pushed unknown local bands when others couldn’t give a stuff

It’s where I met Easybeats, The Loved Ones and Johnny Cash
Sang harmonies with Normie Rowe, guitar on “Jumping Jack Flash”

That’s the joy of Radio, regardless of the station
The listener puts visuals to the sounds, there’s room for imagination

Music changed, Stan moved on, ergo, so did I
As 3UZ caved in to sport I fled to 3XY
And very briefly 3AK where they claimed “No wrinklys fly”

But it wasn’t only the wrinklys who flew as the ratings took a whack
Changed to “Beautiful Music 3AK” to try to lure the wrinklys back

Ratings ruled the networks and music played second string
I was too old to appreciate Lief Garret, to young for Perry Como and Bing

For a while there was hope for alternative music with the birth of EON Fm
But that concept failed, they went back to Top 40, a victim of ratings once again

Then Community Radio emerged and a new era had begun
Instead of one format, one concept, one play list, there was something for everyone

Radio travels with you everywhere, to the garden, on a bike, in the car
Even the really ugly bastards have a chance to become a star

Cause unlike television radio hides the worst of sins
The bags, the jowls, too much hard living, age and the double chins

No make up, coiffure and designer clothes, why bother you won’t get caught?
I could be sitting here naked — now that’s a horrible thought?

Is Dan dark and handsome, like the shot on his website, a brooding balladeer?
Or a washed up hack with a twisted nose, black eye and cauliflower ear?

Does Keith Fuller really look like he sounds? Plato crossed with Brad Pitt?
Or is that peddler of dross more than one person? Do we take it in turns to talk shit?

Is Ed the hideous freak of nature that JVG likes to slag?
So grotesque he can’t enter the studio without his head in a paper bag?

Do I resemble a young Marlon Brando? with the soul of James Dean underneath?
Or am I really Ed? and Ed’s really Dan? and JVG’s really Keith?

Does JVG even exist? he might not and you’d be none the wiser
Nothing more than a figment of Ed’s computer whipped up on a voice synthesiser

There are infinite possibilities and that’s the magic of radio
The answer to all these questions – thank God! – you’ll probably never know

© Copyright 2008 Ian Bland

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