Bland On Bland – Radiothon 2016 Week 2

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Radiothon 2016 Week 2“.

Good afternoon Jon, and for the last time, at least for the moment, greetings from Coventry.
Heading home to Melbourne in a couple of days.

A big thumbs up to all the volunteers in the phone room, RRR of course couldn’t function without the army of volunteers who contribute so much, and I hope you are making their lives absolutely miserable by jamming the phone lines as you ring to renew your subscription or become a new subscriber.
If not, give them a call now and make their lives even more stressful, they can take it.

That’s enough from me, I look forward to returning to the studio next week, but first I have to finish what I began last week and it’s back to the neighbourhood.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Radiothon 2016 Week 2

Our previous installment
We were in the neighbourhood
Rummaging through piles of junk
Scraps of iron and wood

Those who listened last week
Would no doubt know the reason
It was Hard Rubbish Collection
The highlight of the season

To the canny, piles of trash
Are akin to Santa’s sleigh
The Jewel in the Junkheap
Could be just one pile away

“Rabbit”, “Spanner”, “Squirrel”
Couldn’t take a trick
“Fruitcake” Frankie Hayes
Was a little bit too quick

He was cruising round the streets
While they were fast asleep
By the time the rooster crowed
Frankie’d been through every heap

It was Lindy Dent who noted
They rarely set off before lunch
But if they ventured out at dawn
They’d beat Frankie to the punch

Her theory soon paid off
Lindy always did make sense
Outside Number 102 Flat 7
Stacked beside the fence

A set of chrome spoked wheels
“Pig” could not believe his eyes
With the speed of a one legged sloth
He raced to claim the prize

“Fruitcake” turned the corner
Caught sight of the wheels
Like a whippet pumped with speed
He was snapping at “Pig’s” heels

Both made a desperate lunge
Spurred on by Hard Rubbish Fever
But who would score the wheels?
The answer is, well, neither

They were off a green MG TC
Parked outside Old man Blake’s
He’d left them up against the fence
While working on the brakes

Though obviously disappointed
They were over it quickly enough
Mr Blake took them into his garage
It was full of all kinds of great stuff

There were kerosene lamps, fishing rods
An anchor chain from a yacht
Said he needed the space to house his car
They were welcome to take the lot

This is starting to sound a bit Disney
Subtle messages buried in rhyme
But I’m as subtle as a proctologist’s finger
So in the word’s of Gough Whitlam “It’s time”

Dig through the junk, sort through the piles
You’ll be in for a few surprises
Ring up, subscribe, discover a jewel
Maybe win one of the prizes

Become part of a community
Not driven by commercial ideals
But a warning, to avoid any misunderstandings
You won’t find any chrome spoked wheels

© Copyright 2016 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to the songs on “Angel In Reverse”