August 9, 2020 | Ian Bland | Leave a comment The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Relinquishing Control (Reprised)“. After the issues with last weeks show JVG decided that seeing as though I was the contributor who made it to air, hew was going to reprise the theme so that every else who had worked so hard last week could get their bits to air. He offered me repeating the choice of repeating last weeks poem or if I felt like it doing something new. I chose the latter and the “cult of sourdough bakers” seemed like the perfect target for this week Ed Bates provided the cheesy cooking show music backing and sound effects. Thatch provided the audio production, have a listen to how it went below… To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below: https://ianbland.com.au/audio/JVG_Poem20200809.mp3 Relinquishing Control (Reprised) In the shadow of the plague a new breed of risk takers Gone are hunter gathers, replaced by hoarder bakers Everybody fancies they can bake the perfect loaf A soft heart and a crispy crust; few can manage both Armed with the recipe I’d hunted down online Fool proof, they guaranteed; that was their words, not mine I scanned the ingredients, seemed generally okay Though the quantities I felt should be around the other way I’d adjust things as I went I thought, how hard could it be? “Don’t you dare” my housemate snapped “stick to the recipe” “Yeah but” I began, “Now buts’ my housemate cries “It winds up a disaster every time you improvise” “Yeah but” I continued, all to no avail “Just do it like it says” he barked “every last detail If you found it on the net then you know it must be true” In the end I acquiesced to avoid another blue Since he’d bought the ingredients, why should I care less? I agreed to follow the recipe if he cleaned up the mess Salt, sugar, tepid water, seemed reasonable at least Two teaspoons of wholemeal flour – and two kilograms of yeast? I placed it in the oven as the recipe had stated Went into the lounge, turned the TV on and waited I heard a creaking sound and the house began to shake The cornices were bowing and then began to break This gunk, like ectoplasm was oozing down the wall As though possessed, the oven slowly edged along the hall Somehow we escaped, though only just at that It’s been almost a week now and we still can’t find the cat Our cosy maisonette has been reclassified ‘free standing’ We’ll have our own postcode if it doesn’t stop expanding We’ve pushed out the neighbours and I’m in all kinds of strife Though hailed in scientific circles for discovering new life I’m never baking bread again, at least not for a while Everyone’s an expert when they’re cooking Covid style Don’t blindly fall for bullshit that permeates the internet And leave the baking up to bakers or risk the loaf of regret © Copyright 2020 Ian Bland Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing” <a href=”http://music.ianbland.com.au/album/everything-and-nothing”>Everything And Nothing by Ian Bland</a> Share this:TweetEmailMoreTelegram