RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Rushing“.

Good to be back in the studio this week. Even if I did have to rush off once the show was finished.

Also good news that Ed was back this week, and playing up a storm.

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


Wha, wha? Yawn 7:30? What? Shit, I’m late
Bugger the shower, my appointment’s at 8:00

I was planning on riding but it’s too bloody far
Bus, train and tram? Nah, I’m taking the car

Breakfast? Forget it! No time to eat
There’s a can of Red Bull under the seat

Where’s my mobile? And glasses? God help me please
Who’s seen my wallet? Ahh, can’t find my keys

Somebody’s moved them: they were here in the drawer
In my pocket? On my head? Oh, in the back door

There’s a prang on the Monash: traffics not flowing
Been rushing so much I forget where I’m going

Calling this car park a freeway’s misleading
Finally starts moving I get a ticket for speeding

I’ve cancelled the dentist but I have still have to pay
Barely 8:30, it’s thrown out my day

The bank at 9:30: Botox at ten
Neighbourhood Watch, then the city again

11:00, accountant: next is Pilates
A mug of espresso, no soft cock soy lattes

11:30, the quack: My reflux is chronic
Which leaves 15 minutes for a coffee colonic

Dog’s groomed at midday: golf, if it’s fine
Haircut at 2:00, so I’ll only play nine

Can’t fit in lunch: I’ll have to cut back
Do I look Cappacino? I’ll have a short black!

Personal trainer, I’ll have to postpone
Meet with a client: get petrol, go home

Reschedule yoga: no time to relax
3:00, Have my anus bleached, a Brazilian wax

School pickup, 3:30: Ballet at 4:00
Hang on, that’s Wednesday; or Thursday? Not sure

Gymnastics is Monday – no Tuesday? Don’t know
Either swimming or tennis, or maybe Tai Kwan Doh?

Used to be music, now it’s drama, I think
Something somewhere – I need an energy drink

Dog obedience school, for a half hour at 6:00
Cocktails with neighbours; pretentious pricks

Dinner? Not hungry. This heartburn won’t ease
But a long macchiato! Extra long please

A webinar at 7:00; then off to Karate
A meeting on Skype, then a Tuppaware party

Sort through my emails: finalise my divorce
What keeps me going? The lifestyle of course

A flat white, sans milk and I’m off to count sheep
I can’t understand why I struggle to sleep

Anyway, that’s enough: four minutes of rhyme
It’s 3:28: I’ve run out of time

Ed, you were splendid: splendidly frantic
You could have played faster: but I’m being pedantic

Next week? Text me, you know the spin
How’s 2:19 Sunday? I can just squeeze you in

Can’t dally, must fly: I enjoyed our discussion
As always, I’m “Brosayas’” That’s Russian for Rushin’

© Copyright 2015 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to the songs on the New Album “Angel In Reverse

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