Ian In England

Ian In England

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method is “Said”

I am over in the UK at the moment and am phoning the poems in to the show.

No rest for the wicked eh?



We’ve all said things we’d like to take back – but no-one will let us forget it
Plenty have said “Till death do us part” and lived long enough to regret it

Casual comments, made without thinking – sometimes their essence survives
Those throwaway lines we don’t recall saying can stalk us for the rest of our lives

Bob Hawke promised to eliminate poverty for every child in Australia
Dan Quayle warned “If we don’t succeed, then we run the real risk of failure.”

“For NASA, space is still a high priority.” the esteemed Dan Quayle once again
“There’s a world market for maybe five computers” said the Chairman of IBM

“Wouldn’t that hurt?” asked Anna Nicole Smith on the drawbacks of the suicide bomber
The commentator who noted “In slow motion the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer”

Chris Jagger was asked in an interview “Are you any relation to your brother?”
Greg Norman said “I owe a lot to my parents – especially my father and mother”

Lord Previtt declared “Sunbathing nude will completely eradicate cancer”
Richard Nixon astutely observed “Solutions are not the answer.”

“We don’t like their sound and anyway – groups of guitars are through”
So said Decca Records on rejecting the Beatles in 1962

“Being married means I can fart in bed” – at least Brad Pitt has a plan
Arnold Schwarzenegger said “I think gay marriage should be between a woman and man”

“Radio has no future.” Said Lord Kelvin in 1893
I guess he won’t be subscribing to radiothon – Hope you’re listening to this JVG

“I’m the closest thing to American royalty” – Paris Hilton with her eyes full of stars
The thoughts of Ronald Reagan – “Trees cause more pollution than cars”

“Most lies told about blondes are false” Jessica Simpson with that twister
Brittany Spears “I’m really close to my cousin because her mum and my mum are sisters”

“China is inhabited by many Chinese.” – words of wisdom from Charles De Gaulle
“If we shouldn’t eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?” – Tom Snyder says it all

“Where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” – Christina Aguilera, where will it be?
George W Bush, for once stating the facts “They misunderestimated me”

Our final excerpt isn’t from George, but it easily could have been
“Sometimes the press quote what I say instead of quoting what I mean”

Those slips of the tongue are the scourge of the famous – but they happen to everyone
Better the gaffes than to suffer in silence – we’re all human when “It’s all said and done”

© Copyright 2009 Ian Bland

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