cash registerThe theme for the JVG Radio Method April 4th, 2007 was “SELLING”.

Click to play Selling..[audio:JVG_Poem20070401.mp3] Accompaniment supplied on slide guitar by Ed Bates.


we elect politician’s to manage the nation
they keep flogging it off with privitisation
telephones, forests, garbage as well
if it’s owned by the public they can’t wait to sell

gas and the trains have gone the same way
some company somewhere owns your dna
instead of opening thing ups it’s removed competition
with everything sold do we need politicians?

we pay taxes and subsidise the companies too
so what do the polie’s and bureaucrats do?
we could sell them all off and their ivory tower
outsource them to china for 10 cents an hour

they’d auction their mothers to further their cause
they’re glorified pimps and we’re just their whores
i’ve taken to heart all the bullshit they sprout
my turn has come and now i’m selling out

first thing i’m doing is selling my vote
all politician’s are invited to quote
beware of the fine print cause penalties apply
for each broken promise and each tiny lie
i’ll make a fortune if howard keeps his throne
i stand to make millions on non core alone

now you can’t buy a t-shirt, a jacket or vest
without the brand or the logo adorned cross the chest
i guess they own the clothes they choose to deface
but if they want me to wear them they can pay for the space

my beloved footy team is relocating interstate
i won’t travel 2000 k’s to queue up at the gate?
i’m resigning my membership, return to sender
i’ll re-brand my loyalty and put it up for tender
money and big business, runs modern day sport
they’ll pay a million for a ruckman, why not pay for my support

most of my bodies in a state of decay
some tosser will buy it if i put it on ebay
my hearts on the market, it’s not worth that much
prolapsed so far it’s adhered to my crutch

i’ve downsized my foreskin via circumcision
but the opportunity’s there for further subdivision
i could sell off my knackers, they’re excess to requirement
in fact my whole groin’s redundant and taken early retirement

my spinal cords perfect for transmitting power
i’ve leased the top of my head for a mobile phone tower
the hot erotic dreams i’ve been having at nights
i’ve had them syndicated and i’m selling the rights

as an asset my brain has been under performing
if anyone comments i blame global warming
but it might come in handy somewhere down the track
i’m happy to sell it and then lease it back

someone paid a fortune for brittany’s hair
mine’s up for sale but buyer beware
it’s full of split ends and the odd trace of lead
i probably should mention it comes attached to my head

i could incorporate my tongue into a public company
say whatever shit i like and take – no responsibility
then complain about the overheads for my teeth, lips and jaw
get 20 million options and move my whole mouth off shore

i’m selling my soul almost giving it away
just like they sold democracy to build guantanamo bay
a public float of my liver would help pay the rent
but guinness already owns around ninety percent

everything must go, from my toes to my flanks
except for my arse, that’s owned by the banks

for that extra special present, when body parts won’t do
don’t forget we’re selling cds at jack rabbit
in the absence of offers, i’ll take what ever you’ve got
for a pint at the lomond, you can have the whole fucking lot

© Copyright 2007 Ian Bland

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