Bland On Bland – Shutup

Ed Bates

The theme this week for the JVG Radio Method is “SHUT UP“.  Todays poem and theme are the result of a rather nice piece of serendipity.

Ed had a birthday party yesterday where I was asked to right a poem and JVG liked the idea so much he decided that it would make a good theme. Or something like that. The upside for me was I only had to write one poem.

Click here for today’s poem [audio:JVG_Poem20090222.mp3]

Ed Bates is on slide today.

Shut Up Ed

“Shut up Ed” snaps Jon Von Goes before Ed can say a word
Chastised live on radio
Ed mumbles below his breath, mouth 2 metres from the mic
If he feels humiliated it doesn’t show

To the contrary in fact, a smile, accompanied by a chuckle
Chuffed he’s needled such a strong reaction
His steel slides up the strings mimicking a chicken
A victory tune to flaunt his satisfaction

As you know, an only child can think the world revolves around them
Though I’m not suggesting Ed is such a creature
Still it’s been an onerous task that’s had me close to beaten
Identifying one redeeming feature

I first saw Ed in 75 – the famed Pelaco Brothers
I remember thinking who’s this moody prick
When that band morphed into Sports they obviously agreed
Cause it wasn’t long before he got the flick

But a player of Ed’s calibre is never idle long
I’ve watched him through the years, band after band
The only thing that’s changed, he’s ditched guitar for pedal steel
So the lazy bugger doesn’t have to stand

Eventually we met in the kitchen at RRR
I’d been warned he was something of a grump
I found him busy with a fork combing lumps out of his coffee
I thought “This can’t possibly be Ed – it’s Forest Gump”

Sitting there resplendent in a blue Hawaiian shirt
The epitome of aging rock’n’roll
His eyes burned as fierce as a feral German Shepherd
As he defended the last coffee scroll

He was in heated conversation with a poster on the wall
“Another money grabbing foreign act on tour”
“Never heard of them” he cried “Bloody B Grade hacks”
I said “You wouldn’t Ed, they were born after the war”

Even though he’s gagged from speaking on the show
It’s where Ed has really found his voice
While I think it’s fair to say he doesn’t suffer fools gladly
On the JVG show he doesn’t have a choice

© Copyright 2009 Ian Bland