The theme for the JVG Radio Method April 8th, 2007 was “SPIRIT”.

Click to play todays piece …

No Accompaniment, phoned in from Tullamarine Airport just before getting on the plane. As Jon said “Focus on the content”.


i met my first spirit at 18 months old
it’s face i’ve never forgot
it was ugly and mean, a murderous stare
it was living right under my cot

it was waiting for me to fall off to sleep
it was waiting for me every night
but it disappeared when my parents came in
as soon as they turned on the light

if the clothes line creaked, or the wind blew the curtains
or a possum pattered over the roof
it was all the work of the hideous ghoul
to me it was irrefutable proof

i was forced to go to sunday school
when i was only six years old
the other kids might have felt the spirit
but all i felt was cold

those tight arsed presbyterians
who hosted our weekly meeting
plenty of money was put in the plate
but none of it was spent on heating

i was introduced to the spirit world
in lump mansfield’s parents shed
lump had found an old ouija board
we decided to contact the dead

the spirits were out in force that night
they were easy to entice
hitler followed by genghis khan
dracula and vincent price

when jack the ripper said he’d slash my throat
i tell you i was shitting bricks
slowly i realised all was not as it seemed
one of us was up to tricks

cause vincent price was still alive
and dracula was merely fiction
and they all spelt die d-y-e
and bad spelling was lump’s predilection

by the time i’d reached my middle teens
i’d turned to delinquency
the neighbours blamed the devil
in fact it was lsd

i was actually singing, not speaking in tongues
they suggested an exorcism
instead my father went through my records
threw out all my tism

i passionately followed the kangaroos
have since i was three
the famous shinboner spirit
it made a man out of me

the tougher things get, the harder they try
through adversity and strife
in wayne carey’s case, he took it to heart
and shinboned his team mate’s wife

there could be spirits out there
both evil and divine
i let them get on with their business
they let me get on with mine

all the new age psycho babble
i take with a grain of salt
the only spirit that gives me grief
is the occasional single malt

angels and fairies might really exist
but i view them all slightly askance
living your life based on phantoms and spooks
there’s not a ghost of a chance

© Copyright 2007 Ian Bland

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