Bland On Bland – Still

Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Still“.

Ed Bates provided the guitar backing, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


“Please lie still” she begged while unbuttoning my shirt
“I’ve told you I’ll be gentle, I promise it won’t hurt”

I’ve heard that line a thousand times; manipulative and hollow
How can I lie still when I know what’s bound to follow?

Firstly she’ll pat my arm and apply a tourniquet
With a cold, sadistic look “Clench your fist” she’ll say

Followed by “Relax, don’t worry I’ll be quick
Keep breathing normally, all you’ll feel’s a tiny prick”

Tiny prick my arse, I’ll feel excruciating pain
As she stabs me repeatedly trying to find a vein

Phlebotomists; sucking blood their only claim to fame
Vampires rebranded; a uniform and fancy name

“Almost there” she’ll lie, trying to keep me calm
How can I relax with that javelin in my arm?

“Try harder” she’ll complain as she loosens off the strap
“Try harder?” I’ll reply “you think my arms a bloody tap?”

Then the tube will fall off, blood spurting everywhere
“Just routine” she’ll smile deceitfully with a patronising air

“C’mon” she’ll snap impatiently “just a little more”
“Get a mop” I’ll tell her “there’s plenty on the floor”

Next thing she’ll yell – Pardon? Put my shirt on? What we’re done?
Are you sure? To be honest I hadn’t realised we’d begun

Nervous? You’re joking. A grimace? No a grin
You’re sure you used a needle? I didn’t feel it going in

Me? Don’t like needles, I could have them every day
I’m a very busy man, you know, my mind was miles away

I look a little pale? Well perhaps I have a chill
No I did not faint I was just lying still

© Copyright 2018 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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