Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Teaching“.

Week 2 of 2019 and JVG is already theming the themes.

Teaching following on from school… not exactly stretching himself is he?

Anyway after having spent a couple of days wrangling, crafting forging writing and generally sweating over a poem on the chosen topic. (notice the nifty use of the thesaurus there?) I woke up on Sunday morning and in an hour before the tea had even had a chance to go cold I had the poem I am presenting to you today.

You really can’t pick it, can you? Inspiration strikes at the strangest of times.

This week, we had the pleasure of Ed Bates providing the guitar backing, great to have him in the studio. Have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


I began school with an opened mind: thought learning might be fun
It was promptly closed and bolted by the first week of Grade One

My teacher went to great lengths to help me understand
That her approach was hands-on; her ruler and my hand

Recalcitrance was quashed and the punishment was hefty
It was made very clear she wouldn’t tolerate a ‘lefty’

The Devil’s hand she called it; all that sprung from it impure
For such sinister perversions her ruler was the cure

Should my left hand stray towards the pen, even sight unseen
That ruler would come down faster than a guillotine

Barely five years old and my reputation tainted
That ruler and I became very well acquainted

It left a lasting impression though I tried hard not to show it
I forwent quantum physics and instead became a poet

Every time I pass a school, I’ve a tendency to flinch
The sum of all my learning; two fingers make an inch

Could my teacher see me now, I’d like to think, in spite
She’d be rather chuffed knowing I turned out ‘all’ right

© Copyright 2019 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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