Bland On Bland – Telepathic Communication

Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Telepathic Communication“.

I was going to be up the bush at Newstead  this week so I recorded the poem just in case I couldn’t get a phone signal.
Not that you have to be up the bush to not be able to make a phone call (thank you NBN). 

I should mention I had a great night at the Castlemaine Jail at Aine Tyrrell’s show, even got up and did a song. If you get a chance , catch Aine and her full band launching her new album, awesome. 

Back to poem. In the last couple of weeks JVG has chosen “Telephones“, “Post” so I guess telepathy is probably the next “logical” one in his mind… oh wait I am getting a message here in my mind… its Jon telling me to get on with it.

It’s from the “neighbourhood”…


No Ed this week , have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Telepathic Communication

“Shut up ‘Rabbit’” ‘Pig’ Mills sneered “I heard you then you turd”
“What’s up your bum?” ‘Rabbit’ quizzed “I never said a word”

“Yeah, well I can read what you’re thinking and you think you’re pretty clever”
“Read?” sniggered ‘Rabbit’ “you can’t read last week’s weather”

“Well I can read your filthy thoughts and it’s a dangerous game you’re playing”
“Ah, the great clairvoyant” ‘Rabbit’ laughed “tell me what I’m saying”

“You know” snarled ‘Pig’ “and you know I know every word you said
Do you think I can’t hear you just because it’s in your head?”

“Well, come on, tell me bunion breath, I’d really like to hear
Tell me what I’m thinking cause I’ve got no idea

Well, spit it out, tell me what my thoughts are right this second
What’s the problem, mental block? Not as psychic as you reckoned?

Have your supernatural talents finally fried your tiny brain?
Well I’ll tell you what I’m thinking – you’re certifiably insane”

“You’re just jealous of my gift” fired ‘Pig’ “you idiotic twit”
“Your only gift” ‘Rabbit’ barked “is eating and talking shit”

You claim you’ve completed this Thought Conduction course
The only course you’ve ever completed was drowned in tomato sauce”

‘Pig’ was furious “How dare you doubt my telepathetic skills”
“It’s telepathic” ‘Rabbit’ scoffed “but you are telapathetic Mills

Professor Psychosis may have provided a written guarantee
But a book from an ad on the back of a comic is hardly a science degree

Remember the X-Ray Glasses? And the plastic, Crystal Ball?
And the Matter Deflector that broke your nose attempting to walk through a wall?
Those yellow crystals they promised would make gold out of rocks?
The Cloak of Invisibility that came in an empty box?

Or The Ghost Locator and the Zombie Extractor and others too stupid to mention?
The Hypnotic Ring you used on our teacher that earned us a weekend detention?

You’re a gullible, conceited moron ‘Pig’ and your head’s nothing but bone
The reason you’d like to know what I’m thinking is you’ve got no thoughts of your own”

‘Pig’ was frothing at the mouth “Are you questioning my powers?”
“You two, shut it” sighed Lindy Dent “you’ve been bickering for hours

‘Rabbit’ light the BBQ: ‘Pig’ put the book away
If you can read thoughts you should already know what I’m about to say

Who wants a triple sausage sandwich wrapped in cheese and bacon rind?”
“See I told you it works” ‘Pig’ gloated smugly “Lindy just read my mind”

© Copyright 2017 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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