Bland On Bland – Theft

The theme Jon chose for the JVG Radio Method today was “THEFT”.

Click to play today’s piece … [audio:JVG_Poem20070708.mp3]

A bunch of firsts this week. First time back in the studio for months, it was good to sit and actually chat with Jon and do this live, first time in months that I have had the pleasure of Ed Bates as an accompanist and first time North of the Yarra to sample some music after the show.

It’s good to be back home.

Today’s piece is grumpy and political, but so it should be. There’s an election coming.


when the minimum wage goes up a few dollars
industry heads get hot under their collars
predict monetary doom, financial chaos
their economic benchmark a sweat shop in laos
but a big juicy bonus for them or their mates
they defend as in line with industry rates
a twenty million handshake just for being a failure
a dollar from everyone here in australia
as blatant a scam as robbing a bank
but it’s not called theft, it’s called the privilege of rank

if i bought every pub and to recoup what i’d spent
i raised the price of beer a few hundred percent
the law would be ruthless, the public rebel
i’d be shutdown and declared an illegal cartel
but go to some sporting or major event
where a hot dog or burger costs more than your rent
an arm and a leg for a beer and a pie
there’s no competition, no laws apply
they’ve captured the market so they capitalize
but that’s not called theft, it’s just free enterprise

workplace agreements, a license to rob
you don’t have to sign, but you won’t have a job
overtime, penalties, kiss them goodbye
sacked without notice, given no reason why
your rights have been stolen and you’re forced to conform
but that’s not called theft, it’s work place reform

australia was vacant when cook took possession
or so decreed britain at king george’s discretion
which came as a shock to some it appears
like the locals who’d lived here sixty thousand years
kicked off their land onto the scraps that were left
but that’s called terra nullius, that wasn’t theft

if i kidnapped a child from your family
i’d be hunted, locked up and they’d throw away the key
but it seems you can steal a whole generation
still our leader won’t say sorry on behalf of the nation
he thinks it’s a pity, but when push comes to shove
it’s not really theft, just misguided love

if i sold you this poem and in the contract i state
reciting it daily will help you lose weight
your breasts will feel firmer, your abs become tighter
your penis enlarged and your teeth will be whiter
cures acne, baldness and relieves pmt
nine out of every ten poets agree
i’d expect to attract the polices’ attention
because that would be theft, theft by deception

politicians conversely make extraordinary claims
facts often butchered in support of their aims
questions avoided, promises broken
lies a routine, the truth but a token
be it no tolls on freeways or children off boats
wilful deceits to steal a few votes
do these blatant deceptions have authorities running
no, that’s not theft, its political cunning

stole a glance at two lovers on the sandringham train
they argued, made up, then argued again
it’s what i love about this place that fact that you’re free
to argue and passionately disagree
suppression, shows history, propagates hate
while tolerance is born from dissent and debate
while history enlightens it also deceives
this country was founded on poachers and thieves

© Copyright 2007 Ian Bland

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