Bland On Bland – Toxic Influence

Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Toxic Influence“.

JVG chose a great theme. Jon and I discussed the toxic influences in our lives, which are all around. I chose one of the bigger ones for the poem.

Ed Bates provided the musical backing.
Thatch provided the audio production, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Toxic Influence

People of Australia, are you tired of all the spin?
Well I promise to work in your interests – at least till you’ve voted me in

The power that you’ve invested in me will help to grow our nation
Along with jobs for the boys, backroom deals and my superannuation

I’ll use that power responsibly, in the interests of free speech
I‘ll get this country back on its feet – here, take a swig of bleach

Labour, Liberals, National Party; it’s getting like Big Brother
They’d rather preference a dickhead like me than preference one another

And if everything goes tits up, then I’m here to share your pain
I’ll deny ever saying that I said what I said, unless it works then I’ll say it again

I’ll claim I’ve been taken out of context, that’s the go to when in doubt
That context is I never intended what I really meant to get out

If anyone contradicts me, it’s their right, no problems, that’s fine
I’ll simply publish their telephone number; a few death threats will get them in line

I’ll blame it all on the African gangs, with a few misleading quotes
It might traumatise a community but that’s the cost of winning votes

I listen to my constituents; we’re a democracy don’t forget
Racists, fascists, white supremacists have a right to have their needs met

I’ll say the right things about minority groups, you know, traditional owners
But I’m not here for them or anyone else; I’m here to look after our donors

I support women – when I have to and ask women to get behind me
Except of course in the party room when the darlings can organise tea

A slap on the bum; a rub of the thigh; it’s not sexual abuse, it’s sport
I stand for equity and integrity – but only if I get caught

I promised to build a child care centre; maybe next time, if you don’t make a fuss
But the money’s already allotted – in electorates that voted for us

I’d hate for something like ethics to cut short my brilliant career
I’m not stupid enough to tell the truth, I just say what you want to hear

Moral obligation? Piss off and give me a break
You’re the losers who voted me in, don’t blame me for your mistake

What’s the odd broken promise or dubious fact? You’ve got a bloody nerve
Expect honesty from politics and you get what you deserve

© Copyright 2021 Ian Bland


Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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