Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Voices“.

Now if ever there was someone likely to hear “voices” JVG would be your man. But fortunately for us all, he ignores them.

A theme, that believe it or not, spoke to me and we are all off to the “neighbourhood”.

The show was another outstanding one this week. If you missed it, there is always 3RRR’s radio on demand.

Ed Bates provided a discrete and tasteful guitar backing, have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


‘Rabbit’ McGorry’s temperament had a rather anomalous bent
Most found his foibles endearing and ‘Rabbit’ appeared quite content

His teacher described him as ‘whimsical’; a reputation well earned
Though when he began hearing voices his parents became quite concerned

Doctors of every persuasion could give no precise diagnosis
Despite every test known to science they could offer no cause or prognosis

The voices appeared to be harmless; no instructions encouraging violence
Besides, ‘Rabbit’s’ aberrant nature preferred commotion to silence

People were used to his OCD and imaginative disposition
But ‘hearing voices’ had received bad press and they treated him with suspicion

Kids can be brutal to those who don’t fit their narrow perception of norm
And some adults fear what they don’t understand, all that doesn’t conform

Somewhat misguided given no-one yet born could be viewed as perfectly stable
We each have our quirks, it’s the human condition, beginning with Cain and Abel

Someone scrawled “’Rabbit’ is mental” in yellow chalk on the board
Kids would tease “Say hello to the Martians” which the teacher completely ignored

His true friends stood by him, even ‘Pig’ Mills, himself considered quite odd
“Is it true?” he rasped, one day at lunch “is it true you can talk to God?”

“God?” snapped ‘Rabbit’, “who mentioned God? Whatever gave you that thought?
My voices are friendly, nothing too deep, and mainly talk about sport”

“Sport!!!! You’re joshing! Is that the best you can do?” ‘Pig’ let out a groan
“Stuff you ‘Pig’” ‘Rabbit’ fired back “go and find a voice of your own”

He ran the gauntlet after school: the taunts, the threats and jeers
Retreated to ‘Spanners’ backyard for a snag and a few ginger beers

They spent Saturday in the tree hut; not that ‘Squirrel’ was having much fun
“Wish I’d brought my tranny” he sighed “I wonder if Richmond won?”

“Yeah they beat Fitzroy by sixty eight points” ‘Rabbit’ stated nonchalantly
“In what, I believe is a personal best, John Northey scored seven goals three”

“How would you know?” ‘Squirrel’ quizzed “you’ve been up the tree all day”
“The voices told me” ‘Rabbit’ confessed “the Tiges blew the Lions away”

“What a steaming pile, go and check ‘Squirrel’” ‘Pig’ huffed matter-of-factly
‘Squirrel’ came back as white as a sheet – Sixty eight points exactly!

“I knew it” cried ‘Pig’ “’Rabbit’s’ possessed, we’re doomed to eternal damnation”
“Wait on a minute” Lindy Dent interjected “I think there’s an explanation”

‘Rabbit’ put your mouth right up to my ear then open wide when directed”
Lindy listened then smiled, “South Melbourne won, it’s exactly as I suspected”

“You’re bonkers?” barked ‘Pig’, as bonkers as ‘Rabbit’, must be some kind of fever”
“It’s his tooth” chirped Lindy “the one he had filled, it’s acting as a receiver

The amalgam is picking up radio waves and they’re echoing round in his head
No wonder his voices mainly talk about sport – he’s tuned into 3UZ”

So the mystery was solved by Lindy’s astuteness though no-one at school gave a damn
They were too busy feting their new hero ‘Rabbit’ the human radiogram

Even his teacher seemed more than impressed: ‘Rabbit’ could do no wrong
If asked a question he couldn’t answer, he’d quip “Sorry, they’re playing a song”

How fickle we are, the boy they once taunted when they thought he was mentally ill
Now a celebrity, technological mutant, all thanks to his dentist’s drill

Several months later, famed for his voices, ‘Rabbit’ was star of the show
“Funny thing is” Lindy whispered to ‘Spanner’ “they pulled that tooth six weeks ago”

© Copyright 2017 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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