The theme this week for Jon’s JVG Radio Method on 3RRR is “Willies”. Well what can I say… John has picked a beauty this week, now all we need is to keep our mind up out of the gutters and try for a something more fitting than doing what essentially would be a smutty bunch of limericks.

Click to hear today’s poem… [audio:JVG_Poem20080727.mp3]

Ed Bates supplied some great background guitar sounds this week.


A moment of unconditional love, you cannot believe how lucky you are
You gently ease yourself inside — behind the wheel of your very first car

A nineteen forty four Willys Overland, the engine replaced with a Hurricane Six
A couple of things that need attention, a few minor faults, easy to fix

Bought from a friend of a friend of a friend, who heard about it from one of his mates
Just out of rego – well, almost ten years – who gives a stuff, it came with the plates

Others see only the scratches and dents — nothing more than a pile of crumpled tin
While I seduced and infatuated, I see the beauty that lies within

It just needs a few panels, long motor, electrics, radiator and battery, upholstery, transmission
A paint job, brake linings, mirrors and doors, everything else is in show room condition

Now perhaps girls will find me of interest, in a new Miller shirt cruising round town
Who cares there’s a couple of door handles missing; just climb in the window — the one that winds down

It revs pretty hard, that’s nothing unusual — considering the choke is jammed permanently on
Of course the handbrake works, at least I presume — it’s impossible to tell, the handle’s long gone

I admit it could do with a little panel beating, but to say it looks like it’s gone off cliff
No that grinding noise isn’t the bearings, I’ve had it checked out — it’s only the diff

There’s an issue with smoke but no need to worry, the engine needs tuning, it’s not about to expire
That rattling sound is perfectly normal — it’s just the exhaust, it’s held on by wire

Yes the wipers are broken, very observant, but heh, this is Melbourne — it doesn’t rain much
All the gears work except second and reverse, you can usually find the others if you double the clutch

The starter motor? Well we can’t quite locate it, but this is a Willys it comes with a crank
Petrol consumption? Round five miles per gallon – but that’ll double — once I mend the hole in the tank

The seats a bit wonky since I unscrewed the bolts — but I needed them to fasten the door
The Willys is fully air conditioned — courtesy of a one metre hole in the floor

So the brake lights stay on, an added safety feature, the blinkers work fine as long as you turn right
The headlights – spot on! But only high beam, but that’s not a problem – unless you’re driving at night

If the bonnet pops up, no need to panic, pull the octopus strap and hook it onto to the grill
It brakes a little soft so leave plenty of room and try to plan a route where you don’t go down hill

So the wheels don’t align, they still go in circles, so what if the rear door and columns are rusted
On the positive side the ashtray’s like new, probably because the lighter is busted

The radio works — it just needs a speaker — an aerial would help but the wiring’s okay
The clock is a gem, came out of a Chevy — and it keeps perfect time — well it does! — twice a day

The colour — are you listening? Is mustard yellow, not baby shit brown as some wanker said
Except the bonnet, that’s mostly pink – oh, and the driver’s side doors, one’s purple, one’s red

Granted, the fumes make you feel nauseous, but a spray of deodorant covers the scent
If you start blacking out or get a bit drowsy, stick your head out the window or breathe through a vent

Willy struggled on for over a year — finally seized near Euroa when his oil ran low
I begged the mechanic to do all he could. He said “Son it’s kinder to let Willy go”

I disconnected his battery, his tail lights went out, emptied the glove box and took one last glance
The mechanic spoke gently “You could donate his parts, lots of sick Willy’s might get a second chance”

The carbie went to Albury, the oil pump to Bairnsdale, the chassis to a farmer not far from Cessnock
Two pistons to Perth, three to Wilcannia, the sixth still hung bent out of poor Willy’s block

I still think of Willy when I see an old jeep, I was more of a friend, than his driver and owner
I know he’d be chuffed that his drive shaft’s still turning – Willy lives on – as an organ donor

© Copyright 2008 Ian Bland

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