Bland On Bland – The BookThe theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Winning“.

Last week was the annual Community Cup between the Megahertz and the Rockdogs . The Radio people one so naturally JVG chose “Winning” as the theme.

Some weeks its so simple, and yes you would be right in guessing that if the match had gone the other way the theme would have also.

Discrete accordion backing this week supplied by Dave Evans, standing in for Ed Bates , have a listen to how it went below…

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:


Gordon Gillies was raised to be a cut above the rest
Not your common high achiever, Gordon had to be the best

The youngest of five children; two sisters and two brothers
To survive you had to prove yourself better than the others

Dressing, homework, playing ball; all turned into races
First to sleep, first to rise; even doing up your laces

At breakfast Mrs Gillies would prepare one slice of toast
Let her children fight it out, see who wanted it the most

Only one would have breakfast, the others left despairing
The punishment severe if the victor was found sharing

An extra knob of butter for any child caught cheating
If you dared get in the way you’d likely cop a beating

Everything and everyone viewed as competition
Winning wasn’t all; you had to crush the opposition

Gordon soon learned victory went to the aggressor
When Mr Gillies died, they named Gordon his successor

He was addicted to winning; or gave you that impression
A mere bi-product, in fact, of a more complex obsession

So closely related it was easy to confuse
He was less obsessed with winning than seeing other people lose

Gordon hated football, yet it didn’t stop him going
He’d sit there in the pouring rain comforted by knowing

That one side had to lose; which team, who gave a stuff?
Roughly half the crowd despondent, that was victory enough

He’d revel in their misery as they slunk out of the ground
A draw was even better; disappointment all around

Cricket he found boring, though really got his kicks
When a team five up, one ball to go and the batsman hits a six

The sport of Kings, the horses; punters and their tips
It turned Gordon on to watch them tearing up their slips

“If you never place a bet” Gordon reasoned with a grin
“It’s impossible to lose, meaning every race I win”

One night at the pub after a long day at the races
Gordon drinking stout and the usual whisky chasers

He was challenged to a sculling comp, while balanced on one leg
The others drank a huge amount, but Gordon drank a keg

“I’m the winner” he bragged, in a loud and pompous voice
“I challenge anyone of you, at anything, your choice”

A psychopath named ‘Nuts’ was quick to take the bet
“I’ll take you on” he sneered “the game, Russian Roulette”

While Gordon had no death wish, he was a man of some conceit
Instead of worrying about dying, he was more scared of defeat

Gordon was muddled, the beer and whisky had him spinning
Oblivious to the consequences, fixated on winning

Whatever was required to avoid all chance of loss
A double headed coin made sure Gordon won the toss

Confused he assumed whoever fired the gun the winner
‘Nuts’ didn’t mind, all he wanted was his dinner

While ‘Nuts’ wasn’t looking, Gordon tampered with the gun
Loaded all six chambers instead of only one

“I’ve got this in the bag” he grinned “leaving ‘Nuts’ an ‘also ran’
The alcohol helped mask the weakness in his plan

“I’ll go first” smiled Gordon, knowing nought was left to fate
As he pulled the trigger, the penny dropped, too late

They declared him the winner though it came at quite a cost
Perhaps a game, in retrospect, he would have rather lost

Gordon, like so many, sadly failed to realise
Sometimes the winner takes it all but the loser keeps the prize

© Copyright 2019 Ian Bland

Also have a listen to “Everything or Nothing

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